Reader’s Digest
● Sleep on it
An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s
office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she
was there, the old woman replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken back, the doctor thought for a moment
and then said, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you are 80 years old. What would you
possibly need birth control pills for?”
The woman replied, “They help me sleep
better.”
The doctor considered this for a second,
and said, “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my
granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.” (RD2012, June, p.105)
就靠這一味
一個老婦人到當地的一家診所,想跟她的醫生談一談。接待人員問她來做甚麼,老婦人回答:「我想要拿一些避孕藥。」
醫生非常詫異,沉吟良久之後才說:「不好意思,老太太,妳已經80歲了,要避孕藥做甚麼?」
老婦人回答:「它們可以讓我睡得安穩一點。」
醫生心裡一面嘀咕,一面說道:「避孕藥怎麼可能幫妳好睡?」
老婦人說:「我把它們混在我孫女的柳橙汁裡之後,我就可以安心地睡了。」 (RD2012, 6月號, 105頁)
● A Golfer to the End
Police are called to an apartment and find
a woman holding a bent and twisted 5-iron, standing over a lifeless man.
A detective asks, “Is that your husband?”
“Yes,” replies the woman.
“Did you hit him with that golf club?”
“Yes, yes, I did,” sobs the woman, dropping
the club.
“How many times did you hit him?” asks the
detective.
“I don’t know,” she replies. “Five, six,
may be seven times… O look, just put me down for a five.” (RD2012, June, p.105)
警察們據報趕到一間公寓,發現有一個女人拿著一根扭曲變形的5號鐵桿,腳邊躺著一個沒有生命跡象的男子。
一個辦案人員問道:「這是妳的老公嗎?」
女人回答說:「是的。」
「是妳用那根高爾夫球桿打他的嗎?」
「是,是的,是我,」女人一邊啜泣,一邊丟下球桿。
辦案人員又問道:「妳一共打了幾下?」
女人回答說:「我不知道。五桿,六桿,也許是七桿……這樣好了,你就給我記五桿吧。」 (RD2012, 6月號, 105頁)