Reader's Digest
● Make a Wish
I work at a photo/electronics business, and
very occasionally – usually around Christmas – customers will bring in their
old film projectors for attention. One day the intercom buzzed in my workshop
and a voice said, “Harry, will you come down to the shop? There’s a lad
in about a lamp.” (RD2013,
April, p.58)
許個願
我在一家光學/電器行工作；經常有顧客(尤其在聖誕節前後)帶著他們的舊式投影機上門要求修裡。有一天，我的工作室裡的對講機傳來一個聲音，說道：「哈利，你可不可以下來一下？有人要修裡阿拉丁神燈。[註]」
[註]：其實我聽錯了，不是甚麼阿拉丁(Aladdin)神燈，而是有個男孩來店(a lad in)要換投影機的燈泡。 (RD2013, 四月號, 第58頁)
● Naughty Men
Some workmen were fixing potholes on our
street recently, which prompted my three-year-old to come running into the
kitchen. “Mum! Can I go and watch the men digging a hole in the road?” he
asked.
A little worried about the traffic, I began
to form a “no” when he forestalled me by adding, “It’s OK, Mum – they’re not
naughty men!”
Swiftly changing tack, I asked, “How do we
know they’re not naughty men?”
His triumphant response: “Because I’ve
already been and asked them.” (RD2013,
April, p.58)
怪叔叔
最近我們附近有一些工人在修馬路，這使得我那三歲的兒子衝進廚房問道：「媽！我可以去看那些人在挖馬路嗎？」
我有點擔心交通安全問題，正要脫口說「不行」；他卻先發制人說：「媽！沒問題啦！那些人不是壞人啦！」
我立即見風轉舵問他：「你怎麼知道他們不是壞人？」
他很得意地回答：「因為我已經去問過他們了。」
(RD2013, 四月號, 第58頁)
● Peek Behind the Curtain
When you do Shakespeare, they think you
must be intelligent because they think you understand what you’re saying. — Actress
Helen Mirren
(RD2013, April, p.58)
幕前幕後
當你在演莎士比亞戲劇的時候，人們會以為你很有學問；因為他們以為你懂得你說的每一句話。 — 英國名女演員海倫．米蘭 (RD2013, 四月號, 第58頁)
● Short & Sweet
While taking my grandkids for a drive, one
asked, “Nana, are you going to grow any taller?” To which I replied, “No. As
you get older you actually grow shorter. You shrink a little.”
“Wow, Nana!” she shrieked. “When you become
a Barbie Doll, can I have you?”
(RD2013, April, p.68)
越矮越可愛
我開車載幾個孫子兜風時，其中一個問我說：「奶奶，妳還會長高嗎？」我說：「不會了啦！其實人老了會變矮。」
她聽了很興奮地叫道：「奶奶，妳變成芭比娃娃之後，可以不可以當我的玩具？」 (RD2013, 四月號, 第68頁)
● Cruelty 101
The topic for my third-grade class was
genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do
you think I passed on to my children?” After a pause, one student called out, “Wrinkles?” (RD2013, Feb., p.80)
超不給面子
在我教的小學三年級班上，講到遺傳學的時候，我特別裝出一個大笑臉，然後指著臉上的酒窩問道：「你們認為我哪個特徵會遺傳給我的子女？」一陣靜默之後，有個學生大聲說：「是皺紋嗎？」 (2013年2月號，第80頁)
● Out to Lunch
All joking aside, if you’ve never
photocopied you sandwiches just to see if you can get the “jam[註] in paper tray”
message to appear, you’re taking your job way too seriously. (RD2013, Feb., p.80)
午餐時間
你上班的時候可能會開一些玩笑；但如果你不曾把你的三明治(午餐)放進影印機影印，為的是看看是否會出現「紙匣裡有夾紙」[註]的訊號，那你就太無趣了。 (2013年2月號，第80頁)
[註]英文jam這個字可以指影印機「夾紙」，也可以指(塗三明治的)果醬。因此「jam in paper tray」除了指「紙匣裡有夾紙」之外，也有「紙盤裡有果醬」的意思。
● Victory vs. Failure
If I don’t ask “Why me?” after my
victories, I cannot ask “Why me?” after my setbacks and disasters. (RD2013, Feb., p.79)
成敗之間
如果一個人在成功之後，不曉得問：「為什麼是我？」，那麼在他遇到挫敗或劫難時，就沒資格問：「為什麼是我？」 (2013年2月號，第79頁)
● A Problem Shared
Your company’s IT department can be your
best friend. Don’t muck it up with silly requests like these actual help-desk
calls:
˙ “How do I
remove a sesame seed from my keyboard?”
˙ “Can you
come over and plug in this cord for me?”
˙ “I dropped
my phone in the toilet. What should I do?”
˙ “How do I
pirate software?”
˙ “My car’s
cup holder is broken. Can you fix it?”
˙ “I’d like to
download the entire internet so I can take it with me.”
(RD2013, Feb., p.81)
你嘛幫幫忙
你任職的公司的資訊技術處可能是你最佳的朋友；但千萬不要用下列的笨問題去煩它：
˙「請問如何取出掉在鍵盤裡的芝麻？」
˙「請問是不是可以過來幫我把這條電線插上？」
˙「我的手機掉進馬桶裡了，怎麼辦？」
˙「請問如何盜取軟體？」
˙「我的車上飲料架壞了，你能不能幫我修理？」
˙「我想下載整個網路，以便隨身攜帶。」 (2013年2月號，第81頁)
● Yummy
After perusing this menu in a Xi’an , China
Fans Miscellaneous Bacteria Pot, ￥32
Flame new-found Shrimp, ￥108
Sizzling XO sauce explosion head, ￥42 (RD2013, Feb., p.51)
敬謝不敏
在中國西安的一家餐館裡仔細看了這種菜單之後，我們寧可吃起士漢堡：
「粉絲什錦細菌鍋」(原名：粉絲雜菌煲) 32元人民幣
「火燒迷糊蝦」(原名：火焰醉翁蝦) 108元人民幣
「嘶嘶XO醬爆炸頭」(原名：鐵板XO醬爆魚頭) 42元人民幣 (2013年2月號，第51頁)
● Nearly Departed
The local parking inspector died. At his
funeral some days later, just as the priest was delivering a service in honor
of the man in the presence of family and friends, a loud shouting and banging
could be heard emanating from the coffin: “Stop, stop, let me out! I’m not
dead!” there was a brief, confused pause. Finally, the silence was broken: “I’m
sorry, sir,” said the priest. “I’ve already started the paperwork.” (RD2013, Feb., p.51)
還沒死
鎮上的停車費稽查員去逝了。幾天之後在他的葬禮上，當牧師在親朋好友面前舉行追悼儀式時，突然從棺材裡發出很大的敲擊聲和叫喊聲：「等一下！讓我出去！我還沒死啊！」眾人面面相覷，驚訝得說不出話來。終於，牧師打破沉默說：「對不起，先生！(繳費)單子已經開始寫了。」 (2013年2月號，第51頁)
● Computers are Useless
I don’t shop online, because I don’t own a
computer. My belief is they haven’t completed inventing computers yet. Why? Because
they don’t work. If they worked, not every business in the world would have a
department to fix them. They don’t have a department to fix pencils. (RD2013, Feb., p.55)
電腦無用論
我從不在線上購物，因為我沒有電腦。我認為電腦的發明尚未達到完美的地步；這話怎麼說呢？電腦根本沒用；如果有用的話，為甚麼世界上還有修理電腦這一行業？你說，世界上有修理鉛筆的嗎？ (2013年2月號，第55頁)
● So Satisfying
“Where do you want this huge roll of bubble
wrap?” I asked my boss.
“Just pop[註] it in the corner,” he replied.
It took me three hours. (RD2013, Feb., p.51)
不亦樂乎
我請示老闆說：「這一大捲的氣泡包裝紙怎麼處理？」
他回答：「隨便把它放在角落裡吧。」
我整整花了三小時才完成任務。[註] (2013年2月號，第51頁)
[註] Pop這個字有兩個意思：(1) (把東西)隨便放； (2) (把氣泡)捏破。 老闆說的是第(1)個意思，我以為是第(2)個意思——結果我整整花了三個小時才完成任務。
● Squeaky Wheel
A few years ago, I went to the emergency
department for abdominal pain. The desk where I checked in was called the “triage
unit” – not the most comforting name for a unit – and they asked me to rate my
pain on a scale from one to ten, ten being worst. Trying not to brag (I was
raised in Ohio
From now on, if I ever find myself in the
emergency room, on line with the phone company or arguing with my wife, and I’m
asked to measure pain of any sort on a scale from one through ten, I’m
answering 11. A squeaky wheel never says six.
(RD2013, Feb., p.119)
會吵的小孩才有糖吃
幾年前我因腹痛掛急診。辦理掛號的櫃台叫做「治療優先次序鑑識處」——名稱聽起來就令人不舒服的一個單位——他們要我把我的疼痛程度用1到10的刻度表示出來(10代表最高等級)。我不想誇張(在我從小成長的俄亥俄州，我們都被教導凡事要採取中庸之道，包括肚子痛的感覺)，因此我回答6。其結果是：幾個小時過去了都沒人理我；急診室人員都忙著照顧那些回答7到10的騙子。
從此以後，每次掛急診，或跟電話公司線上交涉，或跟老婆吵架，若遇到要我用1到10的刻度來表示我的任何痛苦時，我都會回答11。會吵的小孩才有糖吃，因此千萬別說6喔。
(2013年2月號，第119頁)
● Talking Dog
A guy spots a sign outside a house that
reads “Talking Dog for Sale
“So, what have you done with your life?” he
asks the dog.
“I’ve lived a very full life,” says the
dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche
victims. Then I served my country in Iraq
The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s
owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?”
The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He
never did any of that.” (RD2013, Feb.,
p.52)
會說話的狗
有一個人在一間房子外面看到一張告示，上面寫著：「會說話的狗出售」。好奇之下，他走了進去。
他問那隻狗說：「告訴我！你以前做過哪些事？」
狗說：「我曾經住在阿爾卑斯山區當救難犬，救助雪崩的受困者。然後我到伊拉克當兵，報效國家；目前我白天在一家老人院讀書給那些老人聽。」
這人大為驚奇，問狗主人說：「這麼不可思議的狗你為甚麼急著要脫手呢？」
狗主人說：「因為牠是個騙子！牠說的都不是事實。」 (2013年2月號，第52頁)
● Philosophy I Live by
I don’t want to achieve immortality through
my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. -- Woody
Allen (RD2013, Feb., p.54)
我的人生哲學
我不想藉由修練來成仙；我只要長生不老就成仙啦。 —— 伍迪．艾倫 (2013年2月號，第54頁)
● Tablet Timing
In a recent study of 661 patients with
kidney disease and hypertension, those who took at least one blood pressure
medication at night were about a third as likely to suffer a cardiac event in
five years (including heart attacks, strokes and heart failure) than those who
took a morning dose. Talk to your doctor about timing. (RD2013, Feb., p.15)
服藥看時辰
在最近針對661位腎臟病及高血壓患者所作的研究中發現，晚上服用至少一種高血壓藥物的人，五年內罹患心臟疾病(包括心肌梗塞、中風、和心臟衰竭等)的機率比早上服藥的人大約高出三分之一。因此請跟你的醫生談一下服藥時間的問題。 (2013年2月號，第15頁)
● Anita Renfro’s Joking
When I was a self-conscious teen, my mother
told me, “You think people are thinking about your zit or your large nose, but
they’re not. No-one else is thinking of you as much as you think they are,
because just think how much you’re not thinking of other people.”
And she was
trying to cheer me up. (RD2013, Feb.,
p.55)
安妮妲[註]說笑
記得我在青少年時期非常在意自己外表的時候，老媽曾經跟我說：「妳以為別人會注意妳的青春痘或者妳的蒜頭鼻，其實不會。沒有任何人會如妳想像的那麼注意妳；妳只要想想看，妳自己到底有多注意別人就知道了。」
其實，她只不過是在安慰我罷了。 (2013年2月號，第55頁)
[註]安妮妲是個喜劇演員，看看她的耍寶表演：
● It’s Always Husband’s Fault
After learning her parents were in a minor
car accident, my wife called her mother.
“What happened?” she asked.
“I was driving and fell asleep,” said her
mother, irritated. “And of course, your father wasn’t paying attention!” (RD2013, Feb., p.54)
都是老公的錯
我老婆聽到說她的爸媽出了一個小車禍，馬上打電話給她老媽：「究竟是怎麼一回事？」她老媽沒好氣地說：「我開車時睡著了，而妳老爸居然沒發現！」 (2013年2月號，第54頁)
● Silent Farts
“Doctor, please help me,” says an elderly
patient. “I have silent passage of gas every morning. I have silent passage of
gas every afternoon, and silent passage of gas in the evening. Sometimes I have
silent passage of gas at unpredictable times – for instance, just now. Can you
help me?”
“Sure, I can help you,” says the doctor. “But
first you need your hearing checked.”
(RD2013, Feb., p.54)
不響之屁
「醫生，請幫我看看，」一位年老的病患說道：「我每天早晨都會放悶屁；每個下午也會放，連晚上都會放；甚至隨時都會放——比如說，剛剛就放了一個。你能幫我醫好嗎？」
「當然，我可以幫你醫好，」醫生說：「不過你的聽力恐怕要先檢查一下。」 (2013年2月號，第54頁)
● The Christmas Walk (I)
“Grandma, we are going out again, aren’t
we?” My eldest grandson’s request receives support from the other grandkids. “Yes,
of course,” I reassure them. There are 13 of us around the table, grown up and
growing. My husband and me, our daughters and sons-in-law, and our seven
grandchildren. The eldest, 12, the youngest, barely three. Their arrival on Christmas
Day caused a whirlwind around the house, with bags full of presents in need of
display, contributions to our Christmas dinner placed in the kitchen,
grandchildren looking for toys, and our daughters inspecting the Christmas tree
while reminiscing about decorations they used to make and acquire every year.
Christmas: a family feast. There’s good
reason the evergreen “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” still touches our heart. At
home with the family, locking out the world around us, staring dreamily at the
fire and the candles, taking turns playing our favorite carols – that is the
spirit of Christmas. We also talk, often without waiting for turns, and laugh about
each other’s stories, while comforting or exhorting a child with a glass of
wine in hand. Then comes Christmas dinner, traditional, identical every year. But
before we take a bite, my husband reads the story of Jesus’ birth.
In our home we start Christmas dinner at
5pm, because three of our grandchildren are still toddlers and need to be in
bed early. I am all for tradition – that’s something grandmothers seem to
share, so I keep them going. We also added a new one a couple of years ago: the
nighttime walk. After Christmas dinner, around 7.30pm. A very special
experience. We step back in time, back to the days when the month of December
was covered in deep, mysterious darkness. (RD2012, December, p.93-94)
聖誕夜遊(一)
「阿嬤，等一下我們再出去夜遊好不好？」我最大的孫子這樣問我，其餘的孫輩們跟著起鬨。我一再掛保證：「當然，一定。」我們全家大小13個人正圍桌而坐：我老公、我、兩個女兒、兩個女婿、以及我們的七個孫子。最大的孫子今年12歲，最小的還未滿3歲。回來過聖誕節的他們像一陣旋風，讓整個房子熱鬧滾滾起來——一大堆裝滿聖誕禮物的袋子等著被打開；各人帶來的聖誕晚餐料理都拿到廚房裡；孫子們忙著找玩具；兩個女兒則在聖誕樹前指指點點，回憶以前每逢聖誕節如何製作或購買裝飾品。聖誕節可說是全家的盛事；難怪老歌《我要回家過聖誕》至今仍然如此打動人心。一家人團聚在一起，忘卻俗世的一切，一邊望著夢境般的爐火和蠟燭，一邊輪番彈唱著心愛的聖誕歌曲——這就是聖誕節的精髓。我們爭先恐後地高談闊論，為各人的趣事相互大笑；手中一杯葡萄酒，偶爾讓小孩子啜飲一口。接著就是每年都一定有的傳統聖誕大餐。在開動之前，我老公一定會照本宣科講述耶穌降生的故事。
我們家的聖誕大餐在下午五點鐘開始，原因是我們有三個孫子還小，必須讓他們早一點上床。我是個很傳統的人——天下的阿嬤都是這樣，一切都要照傳統來。但在兩年前我們多了一項新的傳統，就是聖誕夜遊，大約在晚上七點半開始，也就是吃完聖誕大餐之後。這是一種很特別的體驗，彷彿時光倒流，回到過去每到十二月整個世界籠罩在一片神秘漆黑的年代。 (RD2012, 12月號, 93-94頁)
《我要回家過聖誕》: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFGfCn5rKIM
● The Christmas Walk (II)
After a quick, superficial clean-up, and
when the three youngest are washed and in bed, we depart. All but one, who is
appointed babysitter by a roll of the dice. With lanterns in hand and our high
heels exchanged for walking gear, we leave our neighborhood. We catch glimpses
of people around tables in houses, and Christmas decorations in gardens. Then,
suddenly, darkness awaits us. We live in the east of Netherlands Germany
Today’s children know much more than we
did. They are digital acrobats, absorbing and filing all facts and knowledge of
the world around them. But they know very little about the world above, fixated
as they are by their computer screen or Nintendo DS. They are familiar with the
story of the Star of Bethlehem, but they’re not sure what it is exactly. Does that
star still exist? Stars, I explain, lead immeasurable lives in distant
galaxies. They may be millions of light years away. But nobody knows if the
Star of Bethlehem – the “sign in the sky” glowingly testifying to the birth of Christ,
really existed. Babylonian priest-astrologers, as well as Chinese astrologers,
observed and described all changes in the sky before and after the start of the
Christian era. But that didn’t include a phenomenon such as the “Star of
Bethlehem”. (RD2012, December, p.94)
聖誕夜遊(二)
匆匆地草草收拾完餐桌，並且幫三個最小的孩子洗完澡送上床之後，我們就出發了，只留下一個大人(由抽籤決定)照顧。我們提著燈籠，高跟鞋換成便鞋，一路走向鎮外。我們看到家家戶戶圍著餐桌的人們，也看到他們庭院裡各色各樣的聖誕裝飾。不久，一片黑暗迎面襲來。我們的小鎮位於荷蘭東部，靠近德國邊界。左邊一帶山林，是德國國家森林的邊緣；另一邊是瑪斯瓦運河的河堤和草地。此時萬籟俱寂；我和老公指著繁星點點的夜空，叫出每個星群的名字：這是獵戶座，那是北斗七星，還有銀河。
現代的孩子懂的東西比我們小時候多得多。他們是玩數位產品的高手；藉由這些利器，他們不斷地吸收周遭世界的事物和知識，並在腦子裡一一建檔。但他們對天上的世界所知甚少，仰望星空的感覺跟盯著電腦螢幕或任天堂遊戲機沒甚麼兩樣。他們聽過「伯利恆之星」的故事，但不確知那是甚麼。真的有這顆星嗎？我向孩子們解釋說，在許多遙遠的星系裡，無數的恆星造就出無數的生命；它們可能距離我們數百萬光年之遙。但沒有人知道這顆所謂的「天上的預兆」——證實基督降生的「伯利恆之星」是否確實存在過。在基督教發軔前後的那段期間，古巴比倫的僧侶星相家們，以及古中國的星相家們，都曾經鉅細靡遺地觀察和紀錄當時的星象變化；但都沒有看到「伯利恆之星」之類的天文現象。 (RD2012, 12月號, 94頁)
● The Christmas Walk (III)
As we discuss the story of Christmas and
the historical holes it shows, we hear the restless splashing against the banks
of the wide channel. There isn’t a single ship on this busy international
waterway leading to Rotterdam
Then we cross to the woods on the other
side. There the darkness and silence are even deeper and more mysterious. Our
lanterns barely suffice to stop us from tripping over tree roots. We here an
owl, see a deer rushing away, and wonder what the constant rustle in the
undergrowth means: a fox, a badger? We feel as if we’re alone in the world. Finally,
after an hour and a half, we take a path leading home. Our suburb reappears. We
enter the street, look at our illuminated house, a symbol of security, warmth
and comfort. Once home, my older grandkids are in quiet awe. They have
experienced the night the way generations have for centuries, every December
evening. A fascinating experience with the frightening lure of the unknown. They
eagerly grab hot chocolate with cream, their cheeks blushing with cold. (RD2012, December, p.94-95)
聖誕夜遊(三)
我們一邊討論聖誕節的典故，以及這些典故在歷史上的是是非非，一邊聽到大運河那邊不斷傳來水浪拍岸的聲音。這條通往鹿特丹港口的運河平日熙熙攘攘，但現在連一艘船影都沒有。
接著我們轉向穿入森林裡，裡面更暗、更安靜、更充滿神秘感。我們燈籠的光顯然不足，因此大家常常被樹根絆倒。我們聽到一隻貓頭鷹的叫聲，看到一隻鹿一閃而過，還有灌木叢裡唏唏嗦嗦的聲響，不知那是一隻狐狸還是一隻獾。此時此刻的我們彷彿遺世而獨立。一個半小時之後，我們開始打道回府。首先看到的是我們小鎮的郊區，然後走入街道，看到我們燈火通明的家；這個家是安全、溫暖、和舒適的象徵。一抵達家門，幾個較年長的孫子懾於剛才的經歷，都噤聲不語；他們剛經歷的是幾世紀以來列祖列宗每年十二月都經歷過的夜晚——神秘、令人敬畏，卻那麼吸引人。他們迫不及待地搶喝熱騰騰的奶油巧克力，雙頰被凍得紅通通的。 (RD2012, 12月號, 94-95頁)
● The Christmas Walk (IV)
In many languages the word “night” begins
with an N. Nuit, Notte, Nacht, derived
from the mysterious and ancient Egyptian goddess Nut, the personification of
the night sky. According to myth she would swallow the sun at night. She was
depicted as a nude, painted with stars, and visible only to those same stars. Wandering
through the deserted landscape of river and woods, I can’t help but think about
our distant ancestors who lived without artificial light, having only the
darkness and the moon for natural companions. Experiencing the night as a
distinct and mysterious “being” sharpens the senses for perceptions we cannot
possibly perceive in daylight. The night is not only for the dark side of life,
it is also for poets and lovers and for sleep-giving miraculous dreams. There’s
a reason why the great mysteries of Christianity happened at night.
In this shady world of long nights and
silent winter landscapes, our ancestors celebrated the 21th of December before
the Christian era, as the winter solstice, with bonfires and other celebratory
rituals. In the northern hemisphere we still experience the shortest day and
the longest night of the year on that date, when the sun reaches its lowest
zenith in the sky. This lasts three days. On the night of December 24, our Christmas
Eve, the deepest of darkness is behind us. The “light” is reborn and frees us
from darkness. Slowly but surely the days lengthen and the coming of light
means hope, grows, perspective.
Tomorrow morning, my children and in-laws
will leave after brunch, with us waving back at little hands sticking out of
car windows, disappearing around the corner. Then I’ll seriously attempt to
take our house back, clear away the toys littering all corners. And enjoy the
unceasingly dark days between Christmas and the new year. The period between December
24 and 31 allows you to sign a truce with the busy, demanding world surrounding
us, the constant “push”. A different, more receptive consciousness, less
rational, more intuitive, gets a chance. Creating clarity about yourself, about
life itself. A kind of homecoming to yourself. (RD2012, December, p. 95-96)
聖誕夜遊(四)
在許多語言裡，「Night(夜)」這個字的第一個字母都是N——例如：Nuit(法文)、Notte(義大利文)、Nacht(德文)；它們均源於神祕的古埃及主司夜空的女神努特(Nut)。根據傳說，她在夜裡會把太陽吞下去。她被描繪成一個裸體的女性，全身綴滿星星，只有她身上的眾星本身才看得到她。
倘佯於有河流有樹林的孤寂大地，我不由得想起遠古的先人，他們生活在沒有人工照明的時代，只有大自然的幽黯和明月與他們相伴。我們身處這獨特又神祕的黑夜時，感官會更加敏銳，這在白天是絕對無法體會到的。黑夜不僅代表生命的晦暗面，也屬於詩人們和戀人們，讓他們在睡夢中編織著旖旎的美夢。這也是為什麼基督教的許多神秘事蹟都發生在晚上。
在這日短夜長，一片蕭瑟的晦暗凍寒世界裡，我們的先人在基督教發軔之前，都在每年的十二月廿一日 慶祝冬至的來臨。在這一天的晚上，他們升起營火，舉行一些慶祝儀式。生活在北半球的我們，目前仍然體驗到這個一年當中白晝最短黑夜最長的日子；在這一天，太陽上升的高度達到全年的最低點。這些現象延續了三天，到了十二月廿四日 的夜晚，也就是所謂的聖誕夜，最晦暗的日子開始離我們而去，「光明」重新來臨，將我們從黑暗中解救出來。白晝開始變長，變化雖然很慢，但很確定；光明的來臨象徵著希望和生生不息。
明天早上吃過早餐之後，女兒們、女婿們、和孫子們都將離去；我們會向孫子們伸出車窗外的小手揮別，目送他們消失在街角處。然後我要好好的將家裡恢復原狀，將散落在各個角落的玩具收拾乾淨，然後好好享受聖誕節與新年之間一連串的幽暗日子。在十二月廿四日 至三十一日的這段期間，可以讓我們跟周遭繁忙的、嚴苛的世界暫時簽個停戰協定，讓另類的、更敏銳的心智有機會浮現，少一點理性，多一點感性。更了解自己，更了解生命的意義。對一個人來說，這就是一種回家的感覺。 (RD2012, 12月號, 95-96頁)
● The Christmas Walk (V)
It’s about time for us to go to bed as
well. While my husband walks the dog, I stay behind and pick up a pile of
seasonal greetings we receive. Again, I notice how some people wish us a “sacred”
or “blessed” Christmas. They live up to the essential spirit of Christmas,
allowing our souls to linger on a higher level. To engage ourselves in peace on
Earth and in our hearts. And above all, count our blessings. The two of us set
out on this adventure called marriage, my husband and I.
Now there are 13 of us. Our grandchildren bathe us in their joy for life. Allowing
us to look through their eyes, they make everything feel new. That is why Christmas
is also the feast of the tangible miracle close to us. The essence of the story
of Christmas is the birth of a child. The woman who feels that the time has
come, who gives life, the man who helps her, the child with the promise of a
new beginning. Light, rejuvenation, hope, continuation. A never-ending story. Man’s
oldest footprints were placed over three million years ago. Found in African
lava fields. Big prints, medium and small ones: man, woman, and child. Like a
family. Like Mary, Joseph and their baby Jesus. Like us, today.
Christmas is as old as the ages and
infinitely young. Because we live in light and love. And children are still
humanity’s poetry.
“Are we going on a night walk again next
year?” the two ten-year-olds asked when we came home. “Of course,” my husband
and I replied simultaneously. As long as you like, and as long as we live, I
thought, silently. Knowing that we are mortal, but immortally memorized. Once
they reach our age they’ll still remember our evening strolls. Maybe they’ll go
out with their own children. That is how we live on. Grandchildren are our sky
rockets to eternity. (RD2012,
December, p. 96)
聖誕夜遊(五)
是該上床睡覺的時候了；趁著我老公出去遛狗，我留在家裡整理一大堆收到的聖誕賀卡。我看到有些人祝我們有個「神聖的」或「幸福的」聖誕節；他們確實掌握了聖誕節的精神，使我們的心靈提升到更高的境界，也讓我們體驗到地上和平就在我心的道理。更重要的是，這讓我們更知福惜福。當初我跟老公兩人經由婚姻，攜手共創幸福人生；現在我們家已經有13個人。我們深深感染到孫子們表現出來的生命的喜悅；從他們的眼中，我們看到了一個全新的世界。聖誕節團聚之所以讓我們感受到近在身旁活生生的奇蹟，原因在此。
聖誕節故事的主題是一個嬰兒的誕生；一個即將臨盆的女人，透過一個男人的協助，讓一個新生命來到世上，帶給世界一個全新的盼望。這故事裡面有光明、新生、盼望、和永恆；這是個亙古彌新的故事。三百萬年前人類最古老的腳印在非洲的熔岩地面上被發現；其中有大腳印、中腳印、和小腳印，分別是由男人、女人、和小孩所留下來的，像是一家人的樣子，就如同馬利亞、約瑟、和他們的兒子耶穌一般，也像今天的我們。聖誕節如同年代一般古老，卻是歷久彌新，因為我們活在光明和愛之中。而且，孩子們永遠是人類的一首詩。
剛才我們回到家時，兩個十歲的孫子問說：「明年我們還有聖誕夜遊嗎？」我跟老公異口同聲地回答：「那當然」。我在心裡默想，只要你們喜歡，而且我們還活著的話。人的生命有限，但回憶是永恆的。有一天當他們到我們這個年紀時，他們一定仍然記得我們的聖誕夜遊。也許帶著他們自己的小孩一起去。我們就是如此代代相傳。而孫子們正是我們衝向永恆的最大動力。 (RD2012, 12月號, 96頁)
● Lighten Your Sugar Load
We know that sugar drinks are bad for our
waistlines, teeth and general health, but is the message getting through? Recent
research shows that one in ten adults still drink more than half a liter of
soft drink a day. That’s bad news, especially given a new link between soft
drinks and asthma. The high sugar content in soft drinks may make the airways
more vulnerable to allergic inflammation. Most people, including children,
increase their consumption of sugary drinks over Christmas and the holiday
season. Sugary foods and drinks are nice to have now and then, but limit them
to special occasions. (RD2012,
December, p.16)
少吃糖份
我們都知道，含糖飲料對我們的腰圍、牙齒、和全身健康都有不良影響；但光知道有用嗎？最近一項研究顯示，十個成年人仍然有一個每天喝下超過半公升的含糖飲料。這是個壞消息，尤其是最新發現含糖飲料跟氣喘有關。飲料中的高含量糖分會使呼吸道更容易罹患過敏性發炎。大多數人(包括小孩)在聖誕節和這段假期中都會喝較多含糖飲料。偶爾吃點含糖食物和飲料是不錯，但應限定只在特殊場合才吃。 (RD2012, 12月號, 16頁)
● Lord of the Desert (III)
RD: To mark the 50th
anniversary of Lawrence of Arabia, a remastered Blue-ray special edition with
additional features is being released. Will you watch it again?
OS: Since its release, I’ve never watch it again. The same goes for my
other films. And I must have been to the cinema barely twice in 15 years! I don’t
like the cinema, because I know all about how films are made. I prefer the
theater. The actors can make mistakes but at least they’re “live” in front of
me and not redoing a scene hundreds of times over. But I love watching TV
series.
RD: If you were living life
over, would you be tempted to change the course of certain things?
OS: Probably, but I couldn’t tell you which. If I dislike something, I
have the ability to wipe it from memory and remember only the happy times. (RD2012, December, p. 80)
沙漠之王 (下)
文摘：為了紀念《阿拉伯的勞倫斯》問世50週年，有一個特別重新製作的藍光版本剛剛發行，裡面加入許多新的東西。你會再看一遍嗎？
奧瑪：即使是重新發行，我也不會再去看它；我演過的其他片子也是一樣。事實上，這十五年來我上電影院不到兩次！我不喜歡電影院，因為我太了解電影是怎麼拍出來的。我比較喜歡劇場；因為演員們即使演錯，至少在我眼前他們是現場演出的，不像拍電影，一個場景要重來好幾百次。不過我也喜歡電視連續劇。
文摘：如果一切能重來一遍的話，你會想要改變某些事情的過程嗎？
奧瑪：也許吧！但我不能說出來。如果我不喜歡某件事情，我會將它從我的腦海裡消除掉，而只記得快樂的時光。 (RD2012,12月號, 80頁)
● Lord of the Desert (II)
RD: Whom or what do you thank for
your role in Lawrence of Arabia?
OS: Good Luck. But my mother also had a hand in it. David Lean was
looking for an English-speaking Arab actor and it was my mother who had made me
learn English. At ten years old, I’d become terribly fat because I ate all the
time, and at my school, run by Jesuits, we didn’t do any sport. Despairing at
seeing her only son (in whom she nourished many ambitions) so ugly, my mother
sent me to boarding school in a country where I wouldn’t be tempted by the
food. It was England Mission
RD: Do you think that growing
up in the Middle East has given you a very
particular personality?
OS: I’ve never analyzed that. It’s true that I grew up in Egypt, but
immediately after filming Lawrence of
Arabia I left for Hollywood, as stipulated in the seven-year contract I’d
signed. All I know is that I’m an actor without a homeland, the only one in the
world who’s played a Nazi colonel [The
Night of the Generals] as well as a New York Jew [Funny Girl], a Muslim, a Christian, a priest, an Arab in the
desert. . . and even an Austrian prince [Mayerling]. Can you imagine it? Me, an
Arab, as an Austrian? [He laughs
wholeheartedly.] (RD2012, December,
p. 80)
沙漠之王(中)
文摘：你認為能主演《阿拉伯的勞倫斯》，最該感謝的人或事是甚麼？
奧瑪：是好運；但我媽在這裡面也幫了點忙。當時的導演大衛．連正在物色一位會講英語的阿拉伯籍演員，而當初逼我學英語的就是我媽。我十歲的時候因為嘴饞，因此胖得不像話；我就讀的學校又是耶穌會辦的，根本沒有運動這項。我媽看到自己唯一的兒子變得這麼醜，失望之餘(其實她也有給我很多鼓勵啦！)，就把我送到一個讓我不會受到食物誘惑的國家去讀寄宿學校。這個國家就是英國！這招果然奏效；我的肥油逐漸消失。而且那個學校有個劇場，於是我發現了一個新的愛好。
文摘：你認為出身中東地區會讓你有特殊的人格特質嗎？
奧瑪：我從來沒仔細想過這個問題耶。確實，我在埃及長大，但在《阿拉伯的勞倫斯》開拍之後，我就前往好萊塢，被綁了七年約。我只覺得我是個沒有祖國的演員，世界上只有我一個人演過納粹上校[在《將軍之夜》中]、紐約的猶太人[在《妙女郎》中]、回教徒、基督教徒、傳教士、沙漠裡的阿拉伯人等等…我甚至演過奧地利王子哩[在《泡沫之戀》裡]！你能想像嗎？我，一個阿拉伯人，居然演一個奧地利人耶！(他開懷大笑。)
(RD2012,12月號, 80頁)
● Lord of the Desert (I)
On the 50th
anniversary of Lawrence of Arabia, an
audience with Omar Sharif, one of the last stars from Hollywood’s golden age.
Reader’s
Digest: You
often say that you are not completely satisfied with any of your films. Why is
that?
Omar
Sharif: Is one ever completely satisfied in life? I
have only a special fondness for a few films: Lawrence of Arabia, of course, but also Dr Zhivago, because I’m a sentimental type, and Funny Girl with Barbra Streisand. We got
on wonderfully well. In fact, we almost got married. I said no because she
wanted us to live in America
and I wanted to stay in Paris
RD: Do you often fall in love
with your leading ladies?
OS: In love – no. I’ve only ever really loved one woman – my wife [Faten
Hamama, a famous actress in Egypt
沙漠之王(上)
今年是電影《阿拉伯的勞倫斯》問世的50週年紀念；下面是一位觀眾(代表《讀者文摘》)與該片男主角——也是好萊塢黃金時代碩果僅存的巨星之一——奧瑪．雪瑞夫的對談。
讀者文摘：你經常說你對所有演過的電影都不完全滿意；為甚麼你會這麼說？
奧瑪．雪瑞夫：有誰對一生所有事情都完全滿意？我只對少數幾部片子有偏好：首先當然是《阿拉伯的勞倫斯》；接下來是《齊瓦哥醫生》，因為我是個多愁善感的人；另外是跟芭芭拉．史翠珊合演的《妙女郎》。那時我們兩人相處得非常好；事實上，我們幾乎論及婚嫁，但由於她希望我們婚後住在美國，而我堅持要住在巴黎，此事因而告吹。
文摘：你經常跟女主角談戀愛嗎？
奧瑪：談戀愛倒沒有。我一輩子只愛一個女人，就是我太太[埃及名女星哈瑪瑪]。儘管如此，我還是離開她了。 (RD2012,12月號, 78-79頁)
● Time is Fleeting
“A
man who dares to waste one hour of time has not
discovered the value of life.” – Charles
Darwin
“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by
dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let
the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most
important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” - Steve
Jobs (RD2012, December, p. 96)
時間飛逝
膽敢浪費一小時光陰的人，根本不知生命的價值。 ——達爾文
生命有限，因此不要浪費生命為他人而活。不要被教條綑綁，因為教條是他人訂出來的東西。不要讓他人的意見像雜音一般淹沒你自己內心的聲音。最重要的是，要有勇氣跟隨自己的意念和直覺。 ——賈伯斯 (RD2012,12月號, 96頁)
● Beware Female Fairies
A married couple in their early 60s was
celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic
little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their
table. She said, “For being such an exemplary married couple and for being
loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.”
The wife answered, “Oh, I want to travel
around the world with my darling husband!” The fairy waved her magic wand and –
poof! – two luxury cruise ship tickets appeared in her hands.
The husband thought for a moment: “Well,
this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.
I’m sorry, my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.”
The wife and the fairy were deeply
disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand and –
poof! – the husband became 92 years old.
(RD2012, December, p. 81)
小心小仙女
一對六十出頭的夫妻正在一家安靜又浪漫的小餐館慶祝結婚四十周年。突然間，一個美麗的小小仙女出現在餐桌上，對他們說：「為了表揚你們這對模範夫妻一路走來相親相愛，我將給你們各實現一個願望。」
太太回答說：「喔，我要跟我親愛的老公一起環遊世界！」
小仙女揮了一下魔棒——噗！兩張豪華郵輪的船票馬上出現在她手裡。
那位老公心裡一面盤算一面說道：「嗯，好是好——不過這是個千載難逢的機會；很抱歉，親愛的，我倒希望有一個比我年輕30歲的老婆。」
他老婆和小仙女都很失望；但小仙女說話必須算話，這個願望還是得實現。
於是小仙女又揮了一下魔棒——噗！這個老公變成了92歲。
(RD2012,12月號, 81頁)
● Fright Night
Sam is at home watching a video in the
lounge. “Oh no!” he moans, covering his eyes. “Don’t do it, man! Don’t go
through that door – you’ll be sorry!”
Sam’s wife comes downstairs to see what all
the fuss is about. “What on earth are you watching?” she asks. “Some kind of
horror movie?”
“No,” Sam replies. “Our wedding video.” (RD2012, December, p. 82)
恐怖之夜
山姆正在家中客廳看錄影帶，突然手摀雙眼，驚恐呻吟說：「拜託！老兄，千萬別走過那扇門啊——不然你會後悔的。」
他老婆聞聲下樓探看究竟，問道：「你到底在看甚麼啊？恐怖片嗎？」
山姆回答說：「是我們的結婚錄影啦。」 (RD2012,12月號, 82頁)
● Audience Participation
My high school drama class had put together
a play based on fairytales, and was performing it for a group of primary school
kids. At one point, the Little Red Riding Hood character sobbed, “My grandma’s
dead!”
To our mortification, a little girl seated
in the audience exclaimed, “So’s mine!”
(RD2012, December, p. 57)
觀眾太投入
我在高中教戲劇課，排演一齣童話故事改編的戲碼之後，表演給一群小學生觀賞。當劇情進行到飾演小紅帽的演員一把鼻涕一把眼淚地說：「我阿嬤死了！」，觀眾席裡的一個小女生突然大喊：「我阿嬤也死了！」，引起大家一陣錯愕。 (RD2012,12月號, 57頁)
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