Reader's Digest
O Best of enemies
Spotted on a church signboard: "Love your enemies. After all, you made them." Barbara Telecsan (RD2013, Nov. p.89)
在某教會的看板上看到：「要愛你的仇敵；畢竟，他們是你製造出來的。」
O Life Lesson
The first great rule in life is to put upwith things; the second is to refuse to put up with things; and the third, and hardest, is to be able to distinguish between the first two. Sydney J. Harris (RD2013, Nov. p.45)
人生守則第一條：要會忍耐；第二條：要會拒絕忍耐。第三條(最難做到的一條)：要會辨別何時適用第一條、何時適用第二條。
O Excuses, excuses
Four actual - but less than plausible - reasons given for missing work:
1. Employee caught a cold from a puppy.
2. Employee had a headache after going to too many garage sales.
3. Employee was in line at a coffee shop when a delivey truck backed up and dumped flour into her convertible.
4. Employee said a deer bit him during hunting season. (RD2013, Nov. p.63)
員工沒上班常用的四個理由–都是瞎掰的：
1.
有員工說他被小狗傳染到感冒。
2.
有員工說他逛舊貨拍賣場逛太久，頭痛。
3.
有員工說他在咖啡店前面排隊時，有一輛貨車將麵粉倒在她的敞篷車裡。
4. 有員工說他在獵鹿時被鹿咬到。
O Combative
With the help of a 16-tonne forklift, I was loading containers onto an aircraft bound for Afghanistan. My sergeant major stopped by to ask how I was doing.
"Well," I said, "it would be a lot easier if the idiot who owns the red truck would move it."
"OK," he replied. "I will." (RD2013, Nov. p.64)
我正在用16噸的堆高機將一批貨櫃裝上一架即將飛往阿富汗的飛機，此時我的士官長順道來看我做得如何。我說：「還好啦，不過假如開那部紅色貨車的白癡將車子移開一點，工作會更加順利。」
他回答說：「好啦，我去移開。」
O Daylight Robbery
I rang up for some car insurance the other day, and the guy asked, "Do you park it it in the street?"
I said. "Yeah, I'm having problems squeezing it into the spare room."
He said, "As opposed to a garage."
I said, "Yes, I park it in the street."
He said, "Is it a well-lit street?"
I said, "No, it's a dark street."
He said, "Oh dear, have you any car alarms?"
I said, "No, nothing."
He said, "What part of the city do you live in?"
So I told him my address, and he came round and nicked it. (RD2013, Nov. p.56)
最近我打電話到某家汽車保險公司，接電話的人問我：「你通常把車停在路邊嗎？」
我說：「對啊！我的車子擠不進我家客房裡。」
他說：「這麼說，你沒停在車庫裡。」
我說：「沒錯，我通常停在路邊。」
他說：「那條路路燈很亮嗎？」
我說：「不，很暗。」
他說：「這樣啊。那你的車有裝警報器嗎？」
我說：「沒有，甚麼都沒裝。」
他說 ：「你把住址給我。」
於是我告訴他住址；結果他過來把我的車子給偷走了。
With the help of a 16-tonne forklift, I was loading containers onto an aircraft bound for Afghanistan. My sergeant major stopped by to ask how I was doing.
"Well," I said, "it would be a lot easier if the idiot who owns the red truck would move it."
"OK," he replied. "I will." (RD2013, Nov. p.64)
我正在用16噸的堆高機將一批貨櫃裝上一架即將飛往阿富汗的飛機，此時我的士官長順道來看我做得如何。我說：「還好啦，不過假如開那部紅色貨車的白癡將車子移開一點，工作會更加順利。」
他回答說：「好啦，我去移開。」
O Daylight Robbery
I rang up for some car insurance the other day, and the guy asked, "Do you park it it in the street?"
I said. "Yeah, I'm having problems squeezing it into the spare room."
He said, "As opposed to a garage."
I said, "Yes, I park it in the street."
He said, "Is it a well-lit street?"
I said, "No, it's a dark street."
He said, "Oh dear, have you any car alarms?"
I said, "No, nothing."
He said, "What part of the city do you live in?"
So I told him my address, and he came round and nicked it. (RD2013, Nov. p.56)
最近我打電話到某家汽車保險公司，接電話的人問我：「你通常把車停在路邊嗎？」
我說：「對啊！我的車子擠不進我家客房裡。」
他說：「這麼說，你沒停在車庫裡。」
我說：「沒錯，我通常停在路邊。」
他說：「那條路路燈很亮嗎？」
我說：「不，很暗。」
他說：「這樣啊。那你的車有裝警報器嗎？」
我說：「沒有，甚麼都沒裝。」
他說 ：「你把住址給我。」
於是我告訴他住址；結果他過來把我的車子給偷走了。
