Reader’s Digest
● Silence is Golden
A man enters a religious order in which you’re
only permitted two spoken words a year. At the end of his first year, the head
of the order asks him for his two words. As he’d often felt hungry during the
year, he whispers, “More food.”
By the end of his second year, he’d often
felt cold, so when asked for his two words, he replies, “More blankets.”
During his third year, he decides he isn’t
really suited to a silent order. So when he comes before the leader to utter
his two words, he admits he hasn’t been very happy these past three years, and
that he’s leaving the order.
“You might as well go,” the leader replies.
“You’ve done nothing but complain ever since you arrived.” (RD2012, July, p.110)
沉默是金
有一個人加入一個宗教團體，這個團體規定每個人一年只准講出兩個字。第一年結束時，這個團體的頭頭問他要講的兩個字是甚麼。由於他整年都覺得很餓，因此他有氣無力地說：「好餓」。
第二年結束時，由於他老是覺得很冷，因此當他被問到要講哪兩個字時，他說：「好冷」。
到了第三年，他確定實在不適合參加這個緘默團體；因此當他來到團體領導人面前要說出他的兩個字時，他表示這三年一直過得很痛苦，因此決定離開。領導人回答說：「你還是離開比較好；自從你來之後，就只會抱怨」。 (RD2012, 七月號, 110頁)
● The Plight of Elephants
in Thailand
Elephants who work on the streets have poor
health and diets. They’re also overworked, cruelly handled and vulnerable to
road accidents. They have an expected five-year life span as opposed to the
65-year average.
Elephants involved in illegal logging on
the Thai-Burmese border live little better in terms of health and treatment. The
use of amphetamines to increase their work rates is reportedly rife.
Trekking elephants in so-called sanctuaries
are deliberately underfed to control aggression. The howdahs (chairs) on their backs – used to carry tourists – cause
damage to the animals’ spines. “The training regimes are based on submission
and cruelty.”
The use of a sharp metal hook known as an ankus on the animal’s most sensitive
areas, such as the head , mouth or inner ear, is designed to stab the elephant
into submission and break its spirit. Starvation may be added as an extra
measure. (RD2012, July, p.46)
泰國大象的悲慘
在街頭工作的大象們通常營養和健康狀況都很差。牠們不但工作超量、被虐待，而且常常因道路意外事故而傷亡。牠們大概只有五年可活，遠低於平均壽命65歲。
就健康和處境而言，在泰緬邊境非法伐木工地做工的大象們的狀況也好不到哪裡；據說使用安非他命來增加牠們工作效率的作法非常普遍。
在所謂「保護區」裡載客的大象都被故意餵不飽，以控制牠們的脾氣。牠們背上的座椅(載觀光客之用)對牠們的脊椎造成傷害。「訓練大象的基本原則就是用殘酷的手段逼牠們就範。」人們在大象最敏感的部位——例如頭、嘴、或內耳——使用一種尖銳的金屬鉤(稱為ankus)，目的是藉由刺痛牠們來迫使牠們乖乖就範，放棄反抗；讓牠們挨餓只能算是次要的方法。 (RD2012, 七月號, 46頁)
● Dust Mites
House dust mites can trigger respiratory or
dermatological conditions, including asthma and eczema. Research shows that the
number of house dust mites peaks when weather turns cool, being at their lowest
in summer and increasing two- to three-fold during late autumn. While it is
tempting to keep windows closed in cool weather, dust mites thrive in humid,
unventilated rooms. The best way to cut mite numbers is to lower indoor
humidity by regularly airing out your home.
(RD2012, July, p.12)
塵螨
家中的塵螨會引起呼吸器官或皮膚的病變，包括氣喘和濕疹。研究報告顯示，天氣轉涼時家中塵螨數目會達到高峰；夏季時數量最少，晚秋時則會增加二至三倍。天冷時窗戶時常緊閉，塵螨最喜歡在這種濕度高、通風不良的房裡繁衍。減少塵螨的最好方法是經常將家中空氣排出，以降低室內濕度。 (RD2012, 七月號, 12頁)
● Laughter
I asked a man on a country lane for
directions to a friend’s house. “Go straight up the road till you reach the
place where the barn burned down,” he said. “Make a right onto the dirt road
till you see a shed with a dog out front, and then make another right, and
continue up a mile.”
“What if the dog isn’t out front?” I asked.
Perplexed, he said, “Make a right, anyway.” (RD2012, July, p.59)
笑譚
我曾經在一條鄉間小路上，向一個路人探問我的一個朋友的家怎麼走。他說：「沿這條路一直走，走到一個穀倉被燒掉的地方；向右轉入泥土路再走，直到你看到一間門口有一隻狗的工寮，然後再向右轉，繼續走一哩就到了。」
我問道：「如果沒看到狗怎麼辦？」
他不解地說：「沒看到狗也要右轉啊！」 (RD2012, 七月號, 59頁)
● The World’s Craziest
Commutes
Singer Katie Melua claims that there are “nine
million bicycles in Beijing
Even in London 16km/h , there are
just three million cars – or 166 cars per square kilometer. In Beijing
The Chinese capital’s economic growth over
the past decade has resulted in about 1900 extra vehicles on the road each day.
For frustrated commuters, the public transport doesn’t provide much of an
alternative. What’s more, in a country of 1.3 billion people, a traffic jam on
a two-lane highway can quickly turn into a four-lane gridlock.
In August 2010, a jam starting in Beijing grew into a tailback that stretched almost 100km , all the way to Inner
Mongolia , and lasted nine days. For now, investing in a pair of
trainers and walking to work is probably the best option. (RD2012, July, p72)
世界上最扯的通勤路況
歌星梅露娃聲稱北京有九百萬輛腳踏車，但她該擔心的是該市的五百萬輛汽車。倫敦在上下班的尖峰時間，車子都以低於每小時16公里 的龜速爬行。以該市內三百萬輛汽車來算，相當於每平方公里有166輛車子；但在北京，每平方公里卻高達472輛。
在過去十年間，中國首都北京的經濟成長造成每天大約有1900輛新車上路；而且大眾運輸系統對上班族而言，並不是一個很好的選項。更扯的是，在這個擁有13億人口的國家，兩線道的公路一旦塞車，馬上變成四線道而完全癱瘓。
2010年八月，北京市的一次大塞車竟然造成100公里的大回堵，幾乎延伸到內蒙古，而且一連塞了九天。於今之計，買一雙運動鞋用走的上班，恐怕是最好的選擇。 (RD2012, 七月號, 72頁)
● Best of the Net
The Washington
Post invited readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding,
subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some
of the best:
Sarchasm:
The gulf between the author of ironic wit and the
reader who doesn’t get it.
Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very high.
Inoculatte:
To take coffee intravenously.
Glibido:
All talk and no action.
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund
from IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. (RD2012,
July, p112)
網友創作精選
《華盛頓郵報》曾經邀請它的讀者們在字典裡隨便挑一個字，將它加或減一個字母，或改變其中一個字母，然後解釋這個新造的字的意義。下面是其中最精彩的：
Sarchasm [原字sarcasm(諷刺)加字母h，使字尾出現chasm(鴻溝)] : 諷刺文章的作者與看不懂該文章的讀者之間的鴻溝。
Reintarnation [原字reincarnation(轉世)之字母c改成 t，使字尾出現tarnation(粗話)] : 轉世投胎成一個大老粗。
Giraffiti [原字graffiti(牆壁塗鴉)加字母i，使字首出現giraff(e) (長頸鹿)] : 很高的惡搞噴漆塗鴉。
Inoculatte [原字inoculate(注射)加字母 t，使字尾出現latte (拿鐵咖啡)] : 用靜脈注射的方式「喝」咖啡。
Glibido [原字libido(性慾)加字母g，使字首出現glib (嘴巴說說)] : (尤指男人)只剩下一張嘴巴。
Intaxication [原字intoxication(樂翻天)之字母o改成a，使字中間出現tax (稅)] : 剛接到國稅局的退稅好高興，沒多久就發現其實那本來就是自己的錢。 (RD2012, 七月號, 112頁)
● Pass on the Salt
We know caffeine rob us of bone-boosting
calcium, but there’s a far worse culprit in our diets - salt. For every 2300
milligrams of sodium (equal to a teaspoon of salt) you take in, about 40
milligrams of calcium is lost in urine. By comparison, a cup of coffee
(containing about 100 milligrams of caffeine) takes less than a sixth of that
amount from your system. (RD2012, July,
p11)
少吃鹽
我們知道咖啡因會剝奪我們體內增強骨骼的鈣；但在我們的飲食當中，有一個更嚴重的剝奪者——食鹽。你每攝取2300毫克的鈉(相當於一茶匙的鹽)，將會由尿液排出大約40毫克的鈣。對照之下，一杯咖啡(大約含有100毫克的咖啡因)只會排出不到上述之1/6的鈣。 (RD2012, 七月號, 11頁)
● Word Journey
When John Logie Baird first demonstrated
the transmission of moving images in 1925, the revolutionary medium needed a
new name – television. A new word, yes, but its constituent parts are ancient. “Tele”
comes from the ancient Greek telos,
meaning “far”; and “vision” is from the Latin videre, “to see”. The practice of making English words from
classical ones had been around ever since Julius Caesar invaded Britain
字源探索
當貝爾德於1925年公開發表動態影像的傳送設備時，他為這個革命性的媒體取了一個新的名字——television(電視)。沒錯，這是個新字，但構成這個字的兩個部分卻是古已有之。「Tele」來自古希臘字telos，意思是「遠」；而「vision」則來自拉丁文videre，意思是「看」。其實，用古典文字來編造英文單字早在西元前55年凱撒大帝征服英格蘭之後就開始了。但是一個字裡面有一半是希臘文一半是拉丁文的例子卻是極為罕見。 (RD2012, 七月號, 144頁)
● Breakfast
We’ve all heard that breakfast is the most
important meal of the day. While I agree that eating breakfast is a good idea, I
actually think all the meals are important. It may be a bad idea to miss out on
breakfast, but it’s also not good for you to skip lunch or dinner. People who
skip meals tend to end up snacking more and eating whatever food is available,
with little regard for nutrition. The easiest foods to access are often high in
sugar and fat, and low in fiber, vitamins and minerals. So, eat your breakfast –
but also make sure you have lunch and dinner as well. Meals don’t need to be
complicated or take hours to cook. However, if you eat good food and don’t miss
meals, you’ll feel better for it.
(RD2012, July, p17)
吃早餐
我們都聽說過早餐是一天當中最重要的一餐。我當然同意吃早餐重要，但我更認為每一餐都重要。不吃早餐固然不好，不吃午餐和晚餐也一樣不好。正餐不吃的人比較會多吃零食，並且不管營養不營養，有東西就吃。一般而言，最容易取得的食物都含有太多的糖分和脂肪，而缺乏纖維素、維生素、及礦物質。因此，不但早餐要吃，午餐和晚餐也一定要吃。不一定每餐都要很豐富，或花很多時間去煮；但如果你吃的是好的食物，而且每餐都吃，你自然會樂在其中。 (RD2012, 七月號, 17頁)
● Health Smart
Q: If I get a cold, is zinc worth taking?
A: Maybe – if you act fast and are willing to put up with some side
effects. A recent review of studies found that people who took zinc within a
day of the first hints of a cold developed milder symptoms and felt better
faster than those given a placebo. The key is to get the zinc into direct
contact with the cold virus in your throat, so try a lozenge or syrup. Studies
suggest you need at least 75mg daily to see an effect; that amount seems safe
for short-term use. The downside for some volunteers: mild nausea and a bad
taste in their mouth. (RD2012, June,
p.14)
健康撇步
問：假如我感冒了，服用鋅有用嗎？
答：或許有用——但要早一點服用，並且願意忍受一些副作用。一項最近的研究總結報告指出，出現感冒初期症狀的人在一天之內就服用鋅的話，後續的症狀會比較輕微，復原也比對照組(只服用安慰劑者)快。重點是，所服用的鋅必須跟你喉嚨裡的感冒病毒直接接觸；因此最好以口中含錠或糖漿的形式服用。根據研究，一天的劑量至少要75毫克，才能看出效果；這個劑量就短期服用來講應該是安全的。對某些自願接受試驗者而言，可能會出現不舒服的感覺：輕微的作嘔，以及嘴裡面的壞味道。 (RD2012, 6月號, 14頁)
● Laughter
Most of us have been asked, “Would you like
fries with that?” in our lifetimes, but this took on a new twist when I went
into a shoe shop recently for a pair of laces.
Upon setting them on the counter, the
assistant asked me, straight-faced, “Would youy like shoes with that?” (RD2012, June, p.81)
笑 譚
在日常生活中，我們大多數人都曾經被問道：「要不要加購薯條？」但最近我到一家鞋店去買一雙鞋帶時，這句話卻有一個新的創意。當我把鞋帶放到櫃台上時，櫃檯助理一本正經地問我：「要不要加購鞋子？」 (RD2012, 6月號, 81頁)
● Pick up Some Sleep Shades
The blue light emitted by your computer
screen, smart phone and TV stimulates your brain, making it harder to fall
asleep. But even insomniacs typically aren’t willing to give up screen time for
the recommended hour or two before bed. So try the solution:
blue-light-filtering glasses. Put them on if you’re using a computer before
bed, and you’ll sleep much better.
(RD2012, June, p.65)
使用濾光屏
從你的電腦螢幕、智慧型手機、和電視機所發出的藍色光，會刺激你的大腦，讓你難以入睡。但是，即使是經常失眠的人，都不願意聽勸，在睡前一、兩個小時還是盯著螢幕。假如是這樣，試試這個辦法：使用濾藍光玻璃屏；睡前使用電腦時，在螢幕前掛上這種玻璃屏，你會睡得更好。 (RD2012, 6月號, 65頁)
● Sophisticated Kid
My daughter-in-law is expecting, and
recently asked her two-year-old son, “What would you like, a baby brother or a
baby sister?”
His reply, “A babycino.” (RD2012, June, p.55)
聰明小孩
我的媳婦接近預產期，最近問她的兩歲兒子說：「你喜歡媽媽生個寶貝弟弟還是寶貝妹妹？」
他的回答是：「我喜歡寶貝奇諾。」 (RD2012, 6月號, 55頁)
【註】寶貝奇諾是賣給小孩子喝的一種飲料。
● Health Alert (II)
Where the germs are?
3.
TV remotes, fridge handles and doorknobs – Cold viruses linger as long as 24 hours on these, according to
researchers. Clean frequently handled surfaces daily when someone in the house
is ill.
4.
Shopping trolleys – A 2011 study found E. coli or similar bacteria on over 70%
of shopping trolleys in four US
5.
Public “touch spots” such as ATM keypads – UK researchers
recently discovered Staphylococcus on
95% of the spots they swabbed in Central London . (RD2012, June, p.11)
健康須知(下)
哪裡細菌多？
三、電視遙控器、冰箱把手、門鈕
– 根據研究，在低溫下，病毒會在這些地方存活24小時之久。當家裡有人生病時，每天都要時常將這些地方擦乾靜。
四、購物車 – 一項2011年的研究顯示，在美國有四個州的購物車超過70%都有大腸桿菌之類的細菌存在。「肉類的包裝常會漏出液體；小朋友的屁股會坐在你買的青花菜上。」
五、公共「接觸點」，例如提款機的按鍵 – 英國的研究人員最近發現，倫敦市中心的這些「接觸點」上，95%都有葡萄球菌。 (RD2012, 6月號, 11頁)
● Health Alert (I)
Where the germs are?
1.
Sponges and cloths – The sponges people
use to wash dishes carry more germs than a toilet bowl, a recent study found. Even
worse: up to 7% of sponges and dishrags in one study harbored
methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus
aureus (MRSA), aka flesh-eating bacteria. The fix? Sanitize sponges in the
dishwasher, and put dishrags through the wash regularly.
2.
Sinks, counter tops and toothbrush holders – These are bacterial hot spots, so clean them often: use diluted
bleach mixture (one tbsp bleach to about four cups water) for sinks and
counters; and pop toothbrush holders in the dishwasher twice a week (or by hand
in hot, soapy water, then go over with a disinfecting wipe). (RD2012, June, p.11)
健康須知(上)
哪裡細菌多？
一、海綿菜瓜布和抹布 – 一項最新的研究發現，人們用來洗碗盤的菜瓜布所帶的細菌比馬桶裡面還要多。更嚴重的是：在一項研究中，高達7%的菜瓜布和抹布竟然暗藏抗藥性的黃金葡萄球菌(MRSA)——又稱噬肉菌。怎麼辦？菜瓜布要放在洗碗機裡洗淨消毒，抹布也要經常清洗。
二、水槽、流理臺、牙刷架 – 這些都是暗藏細菌的熱門地點，因此要經常清洗：用稀釋過的漂白水(一茶匙對四杯水)清洗水槽和流理臺。牙刷架則要每星期兩次丟進洗碗機裡洗，或者用手洗(在溫肥皂水裡洗乾淨後，以無菌布或無菌紙擦乾)。 (RD2012, 6月號, 11頁)
● Late-breaking Genius
Albert Einstein once said, “A person who
has not made his great contribution to science before the age of 30 will never
do so.” But the peak age has risen, with a new study showing that 48 years is
prime time for physicists. Maybe that’s because there’s so much more they need
to know! (RD2012, June, p.10)
大器晚成
愛因斯坦曾經說過：「一個人在三十歲以前在科學上沒有偉大貢獻的話，以後肯定不會有。」但現在這個高峰年齡已經大為提高了。一項最新的研究顯示，48歲才是物理學家們的黃金歲月。可能是因為在這個領域裡面，他們該學的東西太多了！ (RD2012, 6月號, 10頁)
● Early to bed
Here’s a good reason to call it a night: “Being
a night owl might increase your waistline,” say sleep experts. People who stay
up late and sleep late – specifically, they get more than half their sleep
after 5:30am – also tend to eat more junk food and consume more of their
kilojoules after 8pm than do normal sleepers. In one study, the more that
subjects ate after 8pm, the higher their body mass index, even after
controlling other factors.
One of the easiest things anyone on a diet
can do to improve results is go to bed and wake up at the same times everyday. This
way, your body knows when to sleep and is much more efficient. Organize your
eating, too, by trying to eat meals at the same times every day. (RD2012, June, p.67)
早睡早起
晚上早點休息是有道理的；睡眠專家告訴我們：「當個夜貓子會增加腰圍。」晚睡的人(指睡眠時間有一半以上在早上五點半以後者)也比較會吃更多垃圾食品，他們比一般正常睡眠的人在晚上八點之後攝取更多卡路里。一項研究顯示，晚上八點以後吃東西越多的人，即使有控制其他致胖因素，體重指數照樣會飆高。
正在節食的人想改善減肥效果，最簡單的方法之一是每天在一定的時間起床。如此，你的身體會知道何時該睡覺了，效率也會大大提升。同時，儘量安排每天在固定時間吃飯。 (RD2012, 6月號, 67頁)
● Get Results in 20 Second
The difference between having a goal and
actually accomplishing it? Just 20 seconds. Researchers have learned that if we
can lop 20 seconds off the start-up time required for a task, we’re much more
inclined to follow through.
For example, if you want to workout in the
morning, place your shoes and exercise clothes next to your bed the night
before. If you want to praise people more, put thank-you notes and a pen on
your desk, ready to go. (RD2012, June,
p.66)
20秒搞定
「坐而言」跟「起而行」相差多少？20秒而已。研究人員們已經發現，如果我們能夠事先砍掉事情最開頭的20秒鐘，接下去就好辦了。比方說，如果你打算早上去運動，可以在前一個晚上將運動鞋和運動衣放在床邊。假如你想經常感謝人，可以將感謝卡和筆放在書桌上，以便隨時取用。 (RD2012, 6月號, 66頁)
● Sleep on it
An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s
office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she
was there, the old woman replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken back, the doctor thought for a moment
and then said, “Excuse me, ma’am, but you are 80 years old. What would you
possibly need birth control pills for?”
The woman replied, “They help me sleep
better.”
The doctor considered this for a second,
and said, “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my
granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.” (RD2012, June, p.105)
就靠這一味
一個老婦人到當地的一家診所，想跟她的醫生談一談。接待人員問她來做甚麼，老婦人回答：「我想要拿一些避孕藥。」
醫生非常詫異，沉吟良久之後才說：「不好意思，老太太，妳已經80歲了，要避孕藥做甚麼？」
老婦人回答：「它們可以讓我睡得安穩一點。」
醫生心裡一面嘀咕，一面說道：「避孕藥怎麼可能幫妳好睡？」
老婦人說：「我把它們混在我孫女的柳橙汁裡之後，我就可以安心地睡了。」 (RD2012, 6月號, 105頁)
● A Golfer to the End
Police are called to an apartment and find
a woman holding a bent and twisted 5-iron, standing over a lifeless man.
A detective asks, “Is that your husband?”
“Yes,” replies the woman.
“Did you hit him with that golf club?”
“Yes, yes, I did,” sobs the woman, dropping
the club.
“How many times did you hit him?” asks the
detective.
“I don’t know,” she replies. “Five, six,
may be seven times… O look, just put me down for a five.” (RD2012, June, p.105)
警察們據報趕到一間公寓，發現有一個女人拿著一根扭曲變形的5號鐵桿，腳邊躺著一個沒有生命跡象的男子。
一個辦案人員問道：「這是妳的老公嗎？」
女人回答說：「是的。」
「是妳用那根高爾夫球桿打他的嗎？」
「是，是的，是我，」女人一邊啜泣，一邊丟下球桿。
辦案人員又問道：「妳一共打了幾下？」
女人回答說：「我不知道。五桿，六桿，也許是七桿……這樣好了，你就給我記五桿吧。」 (RD2012, 6月號, 105頁)
● Laughter
When my girlfriend left me, she passed me a
note: “I’m leaving you because you’re stupid and bigoted.”
Well, I’m not stupid, just dyslexic. And I
can’t help it if I’ve got big toes.
(RD2010, Jan., p.60)
笑 譚
我的女朋友甩掉我的時候，曾經傳給我一張紙條，上面寫著：「我跟你分手是因為你又笨又頑固。」
哼，我並不笨，只是不會認字而已；至於妳說我的腳趾頭太大，那是天生的，我也沒辦法。 (RD2010, 1月號, 60頁)
【註】果然他認字有問題，竟然把bigoted(頑固)看做bigtoed(大腳趾)。 (RD2010,
1月號, 60頁)
● Laughter
A couple of dog owners are arguing about whose
pet is smarter.
“My dog is so smart,” says the first owner,
“that every morning he waits for the paperboy to come around. He tips the kid
and then brings the newspaper to me, along with my morning coffee.”
“I know,” says the second owner.
“How do you know?”
“My dog told me.” (RD2010, Jan., p.60)
笑 譚
兩個狗主人正在爭辯說誰的狗狗比較聰明。
第一個狗主人說：「我的狗太聰明了；牠每天早上都會等著報童來到。他跟報童打個招呼之後，會把報紙連同早餐咖啡一起送來給我。」
第二個狗主人說：「我知道。」
「你怎麼會知道？」
「我的狗狗告訴我的。」 (RD2010, 1月號, 60頁)
● Words to Live By
The
dog always bites, the horse always kicks.
Common
sense is not very common.
Some
things are sent to try us.
If
you fall down, don’t wait to get up.
A
dead cow today is a dead cow tomorrow. (RD2012, May, p.85)
至理名言
狗就是會咬人；馬就是會踢人。
常識常不為一般人所識。
有些事情是上天用來考驗我們的。
跌倒，就要立刻爬起來。
今天是隻死牛，明天還是死牛。 (RD2012, 5月號, 85頁)
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