Reader’s Digest
● Laughter
There were two guys working for the township. One would dig a hole: dig, dig, dig. The other would come behind him and fill the hole: fill, fill, fill. These two men worked furiously, one digging a hole, the other filling it up again.
A man watching from the pavement couldn’t believe how hard these men were working, but also couldn’t understand what they were doing.
Finally he had to ask. He said to the hole digger, “I appreciate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes along and fills it up again!”
The hole digger replied, “Yes. It must look funny. The guy who plants the trees is sick today.” (RD2012, March, p.78)
笑 譚
有兩個傢伙替公家工作；其中一個不斷在地上挖洞：挖、挖、挖。另一個跟在後面不斷把洞填平：填、填、填。兩人拚命地工作著，一個挖，一個填。一個人在人行道上看著他們，心裡納悶這兩個人為什麼工作得這麼起勁，而且不知道他們在幹什麼。
他終於忍不住，就問那個挖洞的人：「我很欣賞你們的勤奮，但你們究竟在搞什麼啊？你挖一個洞，你的搭檔馬上過來把它填了！」
挖洞的人回答說：「嗯，看起來是很好笑；那個負責種樹的傢伙今天請病假。」 (RD2012, 3月號, 78頁)
● “Piems”
“Piems” are pi-inspired poems where the length of each word (in letters) represents a digit of pi. For example:
“How I want a drink, alcoholic of course, after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics”
represents the number 3.14159265358979. Piems were developed to help people memorize the digits of pi, but now there are 10,000-word books of piems. “Pilish”, a variant of English, also follows the rule in short stories, puzzles, and plays. (RD2012, March, p.68)
「π詩」
所謂「π詩」是根據圓周率π所作的詩，詩中每個字的長度(字母數)依序代表π裡面的一個數字。例如：
“How I want a drink, alcoholic of course, after the heavy lectures involving quantum mechanics” 【註】
即代表3.14159265358979這個數值。當初創作「π詩」的目的是要幫大家記住π裡面的每個數字；而到目前為止，已經有許多一萬字的「π詩」專書出現了。「π文」——由「英文」一字演變出來的——也是根據上述規則所寫的文章，作出短篇故事、猜謎遊戲、和戲劇。 (RD2012, 3月號, 68頁)
【註】(在上完幾堂繁重的量子力學課之後，我多麼想來一杯——當然是要含酒精的)
● Present Status of Fukushima
On December 16, 2011, Japan
No Hyper Rescue workers remain on site. TEPCO employees work there, but the company does not discuss how many, or who they are.
Decommissioning Fukushima
Plans produced by the government and TEPCO say that as-yet uninvented technology will be key to safely disposing of the waste left behind by the world’s worst nuclear accident since Chernobyl. A government panel has estimated the decommissioning work could cost at least 1.15 trillion yen (US$14.8billion).
Residents evacuated from a 20km -wide zone still cannot return. Only emergency workers are allowed in. (RD2012, March, p.50)
福島核電廠現況
日本首相野田佳彥於2011年12月16日 宣稱，福島核電廠已經達到「冷停轉」的狀態。但仍有許多問題有待解決，諸如被汙染地區的除汙、建築廢棄物的清除、以及被疏散的居民何時返家等。
目前已經沒有敢死救難人員留在現場，只有「東京電力公司」的人員在裡面工作；但該公司並未談到人員的數目及身分。
福島核電廠的除役可能要花40年的時間。工程師們在未來的十年當中，恐怕大部分時間都要花在如何接近核燃料並將它清除的工作上——這核燃料已經部份侵蝕它的容器了。
日本政府和東京電力公司所提出的計劃中說，這個繼車諾比爾核災之後全世界最嚴重的意外事件，以目前的技術恐怕無法安全處理遺留的核廢料。據政府的一個小組估計，除役工作的費用可能至少要1.15兆日圓(約合148億美元)。方圓20公里 之內被疏散的居民目前仍舊無法重返家園；只有緊急工作人員才能夠進入。 (RD2012, 3月號, 50頁)
● Enjoy a Piece of Pi
Global Pi Day celebrations on March 14 (to represent 3.14) often involve the baking, throwing and eating of pies – after their area and circumference have been calculated. If you miss out, July 22 (to represent 22/7) is Pi Approximation Day, so why not eat something approximating a pie – a pastie, sausage roll or Turkish pide, perhaps? (RD2012, March, p.67)
慶祝「π節」
每年的3月14日 是全世界公認的「π節」(因為圓周率π = 3.14)；當天的慶祝活動通常包括烘派(pie，與π同音)、丟派、還有吃派——在計算派的面積和周長之後。如果錯過了這一天，你可以在7月22日 慶祝「近似π節」(因為π的近似值 = 22/7)；當天你可以考慮吃近似於派的東西——豬肉煎餅、臘肉煎餅、或土耳其披薩。 (RD2012, 3月號, 67頁)
● Laughter
At the clinic where I work, a couple in their senior years commented on how time had flown by, and that it was time once again to send out Christmas cards. The wife said, “I think we should cut down our card list.” The husband, however, was quick to reply: “We can’t do that, dear. Those friends we miss will think we’re dead.” (RD2012, March, p.110)
笑 譚
在我上班的診所裡，有一對老夫妻正在感嘆時光飛逝，轉眼又是寄聖誕卡的時節了。老妻說：「我想我們應該縮減寄卡的名單。」但老夫立即回答說：「不行，親愛的。那些沒收到卡片的朋友會以為我們死了。」 (RD2012, 3月號, 110頁)
● Anagrams
- The eyes – they see 眼睛 – 會看
- Slot machine – cash lost in me 吃角子老虎 – 錢被我吞了
- Dormitory – dirty room 宿舍 – 髒房間
- A decimal point – I’m a dot in place 小數點 – 我是在適當位置的一點
- The earthquakes – that queer shake 地震 – 讓人暈眩的震動
- Presbyterian – best in prayer 長老教會教友 – 最會禱告
- Election results – Lies! Let’s recount 選舉結果 – 作弊! 重新驗票
(RD2012, March, p.79)
迴文遊戲
這是將英文的一字(或一句)字母重新排列，而得到一個有意義的新字(或新句)的遊戲；如果這個新字(或新句)與原來的字句意思相同(或相似)，那就更能博君一粲了(如以上所列者)。 (RD2012, 3月號, 79頁)
● Should You Eat The Whole Egg?
Eggs are dense little packages of excellent nutrition. They have good amounts of protein, and are quick to cook and relatively cheap. While it’s true the egg yolk contains all of the egg’s fat, it doesn’t mean you should switch to eating egg white omelets.
As well as all the fat, the yolk contains two-thirds of the egg’s protein. Plus it’s in the yolk where you’ll find the majority of the vitamins, minerals and antioxidants, nutrients like calcium, iron, zinc and foliate, as well as vitamins A and E.
In contrast, the egg white has small amounts of B vitamins and potassium, a measly one-third of the total protein, and that’s about it. So stick to eating the whole egg, and you’ll get all that goodness at once. (RD2012, March, p.17)
蛋應該整個吃嗎？
在一個小小的蛋裡，密集包含著極佳的養分。蛋裡面有大量的蛋白質，容易煮熟，而且價格算是便宜。誠然，蛋全部的脂肪都在蛋黃裡面，但這並不代表說你應該改吃純蛋白做的蛋捲。
蛋黃除了含有整個蛋的脂肪外，還含有三分之二的蛋白質。另外，你還會發現蛋黃裡含有大量的維他命、礦物質、抗氧化物，以及鈣、鐵、鋅、葉酸、維生素A和E等養分。
相反的，蛋白只含有少量的維生素B群、鉀、以及三分之一的蛋白質，如此而已。因此蛋要整個吃，才能把所有好東西一次進肚。 (RD2012, 3月號, 17頁)
● But You Must Pay the Rent
Nobody likes coughing up rent. But at least these tenants gave their landlords creative reasons for avoiding it:
- “With my daughter’s graduation, our new boat, and our trip to
- “I’m getting real tired of paying this rent every month! You’ll have to wait a few more days.”
- “We’re a little short right now. But don’t worry – we’re getting a refund on my wife’s tattoo. The artist messed it up, and we’re getting back most of the bucks!”
- “I didn’t pay the rent because I’m saving up to move.” (RD2012, February, p.10)
再怎麼說 房租還是得繳
沒有人會心甘情願地繳房租；甚至有些房客會向房東編一些別出心裁的理由來賴著不繳：
1.「我女兒才剛畢業，我剛買一艘遊艇，今年我們要去歐洲旅行，所以我手頭很緊。」
2.「每個月繳你這個房租，很煩耶！等幾天再說。」
3.「目前我手頭有點緊，不過別擔心——我們馬上會拿到一筆退費：我老婆去紋身，紋身師傅把它搞砸了，所以我們會拿回大部分的錢。」
4.「我沒付房租，因為我要存一筆錢搬家。」 (RD2012, 2月號, 10頁)
● Money Savvy
Dear Gabriel,
I wish people would stop asking stupid questions like ‘how do I save?’ because that’s easy enough – don’t spend more than you earn! I think the more pertinent question would be – how do I stop myself from buying things I don’t need. Got any ideas on that? May, Philippines
Dear May, you have hit the nail on its head – most people purchase things out of impulse which advertising helps to sway in the first place. It could induce a certain sense of achievement or happiness at the point of purchase, but social studies have shown that this happiness dissipates very quickly.
Also, most people purchase things far more than the required quantity that they need. This leads to wastage. In modern advertising, the role is to sway customers away from one product to another to consume more. Ask yourself if the switching cost is worth it.
Actually, most things that make you happy for the longer term are free – a relaxed mind allowing you to take a walk in the park or woods, play a great game of soccer and a healthy body would make one happier for a much longer period of time. (RD2012, February, p.134)
精打細算
親愛的賈百利：
我希望人們不要再問些諸如「我如何才能存錢？」等笨問題，因為存錢太容易了——量入為出便是！我想比較適當的問題應該是︰「我如何自制，不買不需要的東西？」請問您有何看法？ 菲律賓的美伊 敬上
親愛的美伊：妳說的一點也沒錯；許多人都是因一時衝動而買東西，而歸根究柢，衝動都是廣告引起的。人們在購物的當下，總有成就感與幸福感油然而生；但社會學上的許多研究顯示，這種幸福感消逝得很快。
況且，許多人買東西遠超出他們真正需要的數量，造成無謂的浪費。現代的廣告不斷地向顧客們介紹這、介紹那，以促進消費。請先問問自己，跟著廣告買這買那，值得嗎？
事實上，能讓你持久幸福的東西絕大多數是不用花錢的——放鬆心情漫步於公園或森林裡，或者痛快地踢一場足球——健康的身心會讓你幸福得更久。 (RD2012, 2月號, 134頁)
● Ask Aunty
Dear Aunty,
My friend works in a diner, and I often stop by to get a cup of coffee. Sometimes I bring work with me and end up staying after she finishes her shift. On a recent visit, I heard the manager disparage her after she left. I felt that I should defend her, but my instincts told me to back off. Was I wrong? Concerned Friend
Dear Concerned,
Follow your instincts. I’m betting your friend needs her job, so doing anything that would make it harder for her to stay there serves no good purpose. People who speak unpleasantly behind other people’s backs are to be ignored. (RD2012, February, p.133)
請問張阿姨親愛的張阿姨：
我的朋友在一家餐飲店工作，因此我經常進去喝杯咖啡。有時我會把工作帶去那邊做，結果經常待到她下班以後。最近一次去的時候，我聽到餐飲店的店長在她離開之後說她壞話。我當時覺得應該為她辯駁，但我的本能告訴我不可以。請問我錯了嗎？ 關心的朋友 敬上
親愛的關心：
跟著你的本能走沒錯。我敢說你的朋友需要這份工作，因此做出任何可能讓她難以繼續留下來工作的事情是不智的。那個在背後說人壞話的傢伙根本不用理他。 (RD2012, 2月號, 133頁)
● Deep Roots
Someone who’s in la-la land is said to be in a dream-like state, detached from the everyday world. The term itself, though, is rooted in a real place Los Angeles (i.e., L.A.
字源探索
一個人若處於一種夢幻的狀態，不食人間煙火，就被稱為住在「啦啦世界」。然而這個稱呼是源自於一個真實的地名：洛杉磯(即L.A.)。最初，「啦啦世界」是用來揶揄洛杉磯人的疑似古怪行徑，後來慢慢轉變成目前的意思。不過有些人認為它與許多歌曲的歌詞裡的「啦啦」一樣，沒甚麼特別的意義。 (RD2012, 2月號, 29頁)
● Laughter
Q: What’s the Mexican president’s favorite book?
A: Tequila Mockingbird. (RD2012, February, p.144)
笑 譚
問：墨西哥總統最喜歡的一本書是什麼？
答：《Tequila(墨西哥一地名) Mockingbird(反舌鳥)》。 (RD2012, 2月號, 144頁)
【譯註】在英語地區，這是一則老笑話了；但對我們非英語地區的人，則不太容易意會——原來Tequila Mockingbird是一本名著《To Kill a Mockingbird(梅岡城故事)》的諧音。《梅岡城故事》的大致內容請看這裡：
● Laughter
Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asked if there was a memento of some sort inside.
“Yes,” said Sally, “it’s a lock of my husband’s hair.”
“But Larry’s still alive,” Meg said.
“I know, but his hair is gone,” replied Sally. (RD2012, February, p.144)
笑 譚
美葛看到朋友莎莉的項鍊有個新的小盒子吊飾，就問說裡面是否裝有某種紀念性的東西。
莎莉說：「沒錯，是我老公的一小撮頭髮。」
美葛說：「可是妳老公還沒死啊。」
莎莉回答說：「我知道，但是他的頭髮掉光了。」 (RD2012, 2月號, 144頁)
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