國立高雄應用科技大學退休人員協會

2012年9月21日星期五

讀者文摘專輯第九集(32則)

Reader's Digest

● Make a Wish

I work at a photo/electronics business, and very occasionally – usually around Christmas – customers will bring in their old film projectors for attention. One day the intercom buzzed in my workshop and a voice said, “Harry, will you come down to the shop? There’s a lad in about a lamp.” (RD2013, April, p.58)

許個願

我在一家光學/電器行工作；經常有顧客(尤其在聖誕節前後)帶著他們的舊式投影機上門要求修裡。有一天，我的工作室裡的對講機傳來一個聲音，說道：「哈利，你可不可以下來一下？有人要修裡阿拉丁神燈。^[註]」

[註]：其實我聽錯了，不是甚麼阿拉丁(Aladdin)神燈，而是有個男孩來店(a lad in)要換投影機的燈泡。 (RD2013, 四月號, 第58頁)

● Naughty Men

Some workmen were fixing potholes on our street recently, which prompted my three-year-old to come running into the kitchen. “Mum! Can I go and watch the men digging a hole in the road?” he asked.

A little worried about the traffic, I began to form a “no” when he forestalled me by adding, “It’s OK, Mum – they’re not naughty men!”

Swiftly changing tack, I asked, “How do we know they’re not naughty men?”

His triumphant response: “Because I’ve already been and asked them.” (RD2013, April, p.58)

怪叔叔

最近我們附近有一些工人在修馬路，這使得我那三歲的兒子衝進廚房問道：「媽！我可以去看那些人在挖馬路嗎？」

我有點擔心交通安全問題，正要脫口說「不行」；他卻先發制人說：「媽！沒問題啦！那些人不是壞人啦！」

我立即見風轉舵問他：「你怎麼知道他們不是壞人？」

他很得意地回答：「因為我已經去問過他們了。」 (RD2013, 四月號, 第58頁)

● Peek Behind the Curtain

When you do Shakespeare, they think you must be intelligent because they think you understand what you’re saying. — Actress Helen Mirren (RD2013, April, p.58)

幕前幕後

當你在演莎士比亞戲劇的時候，人們會以為你很有學問；因為他們以為你懂得你說的每一句話。 — 英國名女演員海倫．米蘭 (RD2013, 四月號, 第58頁)

● Short & Sweet

While taking my grandkids for a drive, one asked, “Nana, are you going to grow any taller?” To which I replied, “No. As you get older you actually grow shorter. You shrink a little.”

“Wow, Nana!” she shrieked. “When you become a Barbie Doll, can I have you?” (RD2013, April, p.68)

越矮越可愛

我開車載幾個孫子兜風時，其中一個問我說：「奶奶，妳還會長高嗎？」我說：「不會了啦！其實人老了會變矮。」

她聽了很興奮地叫道：「奶奶，妳變成芭比娃娃之後，可以不可以當我的玩具？」 (RD2013, 四月號, 第68頁)

● Cruelty 101

The topic for my third-grade class was genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do you think I passed on to my children?” After a pause, one student called out, “Wrinkles?” (RD2013, Feb., p.80)

超不給面子

在我教的小學三年級班上，講到遺傳學的時候，我特別裝出一個大笑臉，然後指著臉上的酒窩問道：「你們認為我哪個特徵會遺傳給我的子女？」一陣靜默之後，有個學生大聲說：「是皺紋嗎？」 (2013年2月號，第80頁)

2012年7月25日星期三

藝文天地第八集(30則)

■ 變裝秀: http://www.flixxy.com/quick-change-magic-boogie-woogie.htm
■ 維瓦第(Vivaldi) – 春(無伴奏合唱曲), Spring (A Cappella): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uxs5O6hMBvg&feature=player_popou
■ 台灣的蜂鷹: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=76GF60cEDwI#
■ 墨西哥的蝴蝶(Mexico Butterflies): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K6jGW66nF4&feature=related

讀者文摘專輯第八集(21則)

Reader's Digest

● So Obvious, Mum

My two-year-old daughter attends daycare with a set of identical twins. When I asked her how she could tell them apart, she proudly told me, “They have different names.” (RD2012, December, p. 57)

媽，這太簡單了

我的兩歲女兒上幼稚園，班上有一對雙胞胎。我問她怎麼分辨這對雙胞胎誰是誰，她很得意地說：「他們名字不一樣啊。」 (RD2012,12月號, 57頁)

● Process of Elimination

As we entered our local shopping center recently, my young daughter pointed out and explained to me each of the symbols on the sliding glass doors. “No dogs, no skateboards, no bicycles, no scooters, no rollerblades,” she said. Then, after a pause: “Well, I guess that means we’re allowed to smoke then.” (RD2012, December, p. 56)

消去法

最近當我們走進附近的購物中心時，我妹妹指著自動玻璃門上的一些標誌向我說明：「狗不准進入；滑板不准進入；腳踏車不准進入；腳推車不准進入；直排輪不准進入」。她頓了一下，然後又說：「嗯，我想那意思是這裡可以抽菸。」 (RD2012,12月號, 56頁)

● Savvy Salesman

An old man at the end of a jetty is selling seagulls - $2.50 for one, or three for five bucks. A curious tourist goes up to him and says, “I’ll take one, please,” and hands over his money. The old man pockets the money, points to the sky and says, “See that one there? That’s your one.” (RD2012, December, p. 82)

奸商

有一個老頭子在防波堤的一端賣海鷗，一隻賣兩塊半，三隻賣五塊錢。一個好奇的觀光客靠近他，說：「我要買一隻」，然後把錢交給他。老頭子把錢放入口袋裡，指著天空說：「看到那邊那一隻嗎？牠是你的了。」 (RD2012,12月號, 82頁)

2012年5月15日星期二

藝文天地第七集(48則)

■古典吉他曲 - 海的小夜曲 :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bN9P3YyX-Co&feature=related

■DIY花園 - 用滑鼠種花 :

http://www.procreo.jp/labo/flower_garden.swf

■海頓 - 諸天稱頌上帝的榮耀(Die Himmel erzählen), 摘自「創世紀」:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRor5Uf6iM4&feature=related

■海頓 - 大地佈滿綠意(Nun beut die Flur), 摘自「創世紀(Die Schöpfung)」:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-3BHCmtf8E&feature=related

■懷舊台灣 :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiHHi48_vJc&feature=player_embedded

■蕭斯達科維奇(Shostakovich) - 浪漫曲 :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a0gUF6KPiVA&feature=list_other&playnext=1&list=AL94UKMTqg-9AUro7HfOCOfUPmsOEKC8sb

2012年5月2日星期三

讀者文摘專輯第七集(20則)

Reader’s Digest

● Normal or Nuts? (II)

Q: When people are eating, I can’t stand the sound of a fork or spoon clanking on a plate or bowl. I get chills, nausea and a headache. I’m also sickened by the sound of people chewing with their mouth open. Is there something wrong with me?

A: Possibly nuts. It’s tempting to suggest there is something wrong with everyone else you know. How come they don’t chew with their mouths closed? At the very least, you are overly sensitive to minor irritations. You may also be suffering from an obscure malady called misophonia – a condition characterized by an intense loathing of a range of sounds, such as those made by trains, certain musical instruments and people (their breathing, for instance). Try to focus your attention away from the source of irritation. Instead, concentrate as hard as you can on something else when you eat with your friends: the background music, the scenery, even what your friends are talking about (what a concept!). You may be able to train yourself to be less bothered by the noise. (RD2012, Sept., p.117-118)

正常還是不正常？(下)

問：別人吃東西的時候，我總是無法忍受他們叉子或湯匙碰撞碗盤的聲音；我會感到掃興、想吐、頭痛。而且，我對別人張口大嚼的聲音也很討厭。請問我是不是有問題？

答：可能有問題。由此似乎顯示你跟每個朋友之間出了問題；你叫他們嘴巴閉起來怎麼吃東西嘛？至少我可以說，你太吹毛求疵了。你還可能罹患一種叫做「憎聲症」的罕見疾病——患這種病的人極端憎恨某些聲音，例如火車、某些樂器、以及某些人所發出的聲音(如他們的呼吸聲)。當你跟朋友吃飯時，最好能將注意力從不愉快的聲源移開，盡可能將注意力集中在別的事物上：例如背景音樂、周遭風景、和朋友的談話內容(這個最重要！)。也許你更應該訓練自己不要太在意朋友發出的噪音。 (RD2012, 9月號, 117-118頁)

● Normal or Nuts? (I)

Q: I sometimes have strange dreams when taking a nap, and I think they’re real when I wake up. Then, as I come around, I realize they aren’t. Is there something wrong with me?

A: Not nuts! What’s wrong is that you get to take naps and most of us don’t! But are you unhinged? The unanimous consensus among our panel is: no. We all have wild dreams, and it’s normal, upon waking, to be fuzzy for a little while or even not remember where we are, especially if we wake up someplace unfamiliar, like a hotel. (Or a crater on Mars filled with unfinished history homework.) Confusion is normal because it lasts only a few seconds. What’s abnormal is if you don’t snap out of it. Since you did – at least long enough to write a letter – you’re fine. (RD2012, Sept., p.116)

正常還是不正常？(上)

問：我小睡片刻時有時候會做些奇怪的夢，當我剛醒來時會以為那些夢是真的；但我回過神來之後，我發現它們不是真的。我是不是不正常？

答：沒有不正常！不正常的是你需要常常小睡，而一般大多數人是不需要的！言歸正傳，你算不算精神失常？我們小組一致的結論是：不算。我們每個人都會做怪夢；醒來時短暫的迷糊(甚至在陌生環境中 – 例如旅館 – 醒來，一時搞不清楚自己身在何處)都是正常現象。或者醒來發現身處火星上的隕石坑，裡面有一大堆寫不完的歷史作業；但只要這種迷糊狀態持續時間不超過幾秒鐘，都是正常的。不過如果這種狀態揮之不去，那就不正常了。至於你的情況，至少你還能寫這封信給我們，所以放心啦！ (RD2012, 9月號, 116頁)

2012年3月14日星期三

讀者文摘專輯第六集(22則)

Reader’s Digest

● Silence is Golden

A man enters a religious order in which you’re only permitted two spoken words a year. At the end of his first year, the head of the order asks him for his two words. As he’d often felt hungry during the year, he whispers, “More food.”

By the end of his second year, he’d often felt cold, so when asked for his two words, he replies, “More blankets.”

During his third year, he decides he isn’t really suited to a silent order. So when he comes before the leader to utter his two words, he admits he hasn’t been very happy these past three years, and that he’s leaving the order.

“You might as well go,” the leader replies. “You’ve done nothing but complain ever since you arrived.” (RD2012, July, p.110)

沉默是金

有一個人加入一個宗教團體，這個團體規定每個人一年只准講出兩個字。第一年結束時，這個團體的頭頭問他要講的兩個字是甚麼。由於他整年都覺得很餓，因此他有氣無力地說：「好餓」。

第二年結束時，由於他老是覺得很冷，因此當他被問到要講哪兩個字時，他說：「好冷」。

到了第三年，他確定實在不適合參加這個緘默團體；因此當他來到團體領導人面前要說出他的兩個字時，他表示這三年一直過得很痛苦，因此決定離開。領導人回答說：「你還是離開比較好；自從你來之後，就只會抱怨」。 (RD2012, 七月號, 110頁)

● The Plight of Elephants in Thailand

Elephants who work on the streets have poor health and diets. They’re also overworked, cruelly handled and vulnerable to road accidents. They have an expected five-year life span as opposed to the 65-year average.

Elephants involved in illegal logging on the Thai-Burmese border live little better in terms of health and treatment. The use of amphetamines to increase their work rates is reportedly rife.

Trekking elephants in so-called sanctuaries are deliberately underfed to control aggression. The howdahs (chairs) on their backs – used to carry tourists – cause damage to the animals’ spines. “The training regimes are based on submission and cruelty.”

The use of a sharp metal hook known as an ankus on the animal’s most sensitive areas, such as the head , mouth or inner ear, is designed to stab the elephant into submission and break its spirit. Starvation may be added as an extra measure. (RD2012, July, p.46)

泰國大象的悲慘

在街頭工作的大象們通常營養和健康狀況都很差。牠們不但工作超量、被虐待，而且常常因道路意外事故而傷亡。牠們大概只有五年可活，遠低於平均壽命65歲。

就健康和處境而言，在泰緬邊境非法伐木工地做工的大象們的狀況也好不到哪裡；據說使用安非他命來增加牠們工作效率的作法非常普遍。

在所謂「保護區」裡載客的大象都被故意餵不飽，以控制牠們的脾氣。牠們背上的座椅(載觀光客之用)對牠們的脊椎造成傷害。「訓練大象的基本原則就是用殘酷的手段逼牠們就範。」人們在大象最敏感的部位——例如頭、嘴、或內耳——使用一種尖銳的金屬鉤(稱為ankus)，目的是藉由刺痛牠們來迫使牠們乖乖就範，放棄反抗；讓牠們挨餓只能算是次要的方法。 (RD2012, 七月號, 46頁)