讀者文摘專輯第十二集(22則)







--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

O Study after study has documented that when women have the opportunity to start business, own land, and receive credit ... entire economies expand.    Hillary Clinton    (RD2014, March., p.97)

許多文獻都有記載說，根據一再的研究結果顯示，如果給予女性們創業的機會，讓她們也可擁有田產，銀行也肯給予信用授信，等等，那麼我們整個經濟一定會繁榮起來。

【譯註】這句話是美國前總統克林頓的夫人希拉蕊說的。可見在美國社會上女性還是受到許多不合理限制。

 

O Gym flunkie

Joining the gym is amazing - such an invigorating way to start the day! Waking up at 7 am and deciding not to go is such a great feeling.    Nat Luurtsema     (RD2014, March., p.53)

報名參加健身房實在有夠棒－－可以讓一天有個活力充沛的開始。你只要在７點起床，然後決定不去健身房，這感覺就有夠棒了。

 

O Back to the drawing board

I've just finished my new time machine. Still got a few teething problems, though. So far I can only go forwards in time, and only very slowly.    (RD2014, March., p.52)

我剛完成一部新的時光機；但是有一點小問題，就是它只能往未來而去，而且速度奇慢。

【譯註】這種時光機誰也會做－－其實甚麼都不用做，你自然而然就會隨著時間的流逝往未來而去。

 

O Internet security

My wife was checking her emails and told me that her password was  "mickeyminniebatmanrobintomjerryLondon". I asked her why it needed to be so long.

"Because," she replied, "I was told it had to have at least six characters and one capital."     (RD2014, March., p.53)

我太太在查看電子郵件時告訴我說，她設定的密碼是「米奇 米妮 蝙蝠俠 羅賓 湯姆 傑利 倫敦」。我問她為甚麼要用這麼長的密碼。她回答說：「因為電腦要求說必須至少用六個人物(characters)及一個首都(capital)啊。」

【譯註】其實電腦要求的是六個「字母(characters)」，其中一個字母要「大寫(capital)」。

 

O Post posture

I got a letter in the post the other day. It said, "Do not bend."

So I thought, How am I supposed to pick it up?    Lee Mack    (RD2014, March., p.53)

前幾天我從信箱取出一封信，信封上寫著：「請勿折彎(bend)。」

我在想：我不彎腰(bend)怎麼拿得到信啊？

 

O Smart shopper

A man approaches a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and says, "I've lost my wife in the aisles. Would you mind talking to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?" the woman replies.

"Because every time I speak to a pretty lady, my wife appears out of nowhere."    (RD2014, March., p.52)

在大賣場裡，有一個男人走近一個非常漂亮的女人說：「我跟我太太在走道之間走失了，妳可不可以跟我講幾分鐘的話？」

那女人說：「幹嘛？」

「因為每次我跟漂亮女士講話，我太太就會馬上憑空出現。」

讀者文摘專輯第十一集(33則)

Reader's Digest

O A logger, fresh from the big woods, was watching a shop assistant open a package of gaily colored men's pyjamas.
"What's them?" he asked.
"Pyjamas."
"Pyjamas," echoed the logger. "What's are they for?"
"Why, you wear them nights," the shop assistant explained. "Want to buy a pair?"
"Nothing doing," said the logger, "I don't go anywhere nights except to bed."    (RD2014, Jan., p.107)
一位伐木工人剛從大森林裡出來，看到一個店員正在打開一個包裹，裡面是一堆顏色鮮豔的男用睡衣。他問道：「那是甚麼？」
「Pyjamas(睡衣)。」
他隨口應道：「Pyjamas喔...那是幹甚麼用的？」
店員解釋說：「嗯，那是人們晚上穿的衣服。要不要買一套？」
伐木工人說：「不用了...我晚上除了上床睡覺，啥地方也不去。」

O One of my co-workers where I used to work was in the reserve forces, and when he was deployed abroad, the boss placed this sticky note on his door: Stepped out. Back in 12 months.      (RD2014, Jan., p.87)　
我以前的一位同事隸屬預備部隊；當他被派到國外服役時，他的老闆在他辦公室門上貼了一張便利貼字條：「有事外出，十二個月後回來。」

O My neighbor, a police officer, pulled someone over for texting while driving. The driver was having none of it.　
"I was not texting!" she insisted indignantly. "I was on Facebook."      (RD2014, Jan., p.87)
我的鄰居是位警官，有一次攔查一個疑似邊開車邊發簡訊的駕駛人，但發現她根本沒在發簡訊。她很憤慨地說：「剛才我沒有發簡訊，我是在上臉書！」

O To register her child for our school, a mother filled out a number of forms. For the question "Language spoken at home?" she'd answered: "Generally good language, unless I get mad."        (RD2014, Jan., p.87)
有一位媽媽來我們學校幫她的小孩辦理註冊，填了一大堆表格；其中有一個問題問道：「在家裡講甚麼話(語言)？」她的回答是：「通常都講好話，除非我被惹火了。」

O I don't think cops should wear mirrored sunglasses. The whole time that the guy was chewing me out, all I could think was, I should really cut my hair.     Bonnie McFariane     (RD2014, Jan., p.49)
我認為警察們不宜戴反光的太陽眼鏡。每次我被他們訓斥時，我只想到一件事：我該去剪頭髮了。

O Whenever I see a man with a beard, a moustache and glasses, I think, Now there is a man who has taken every precaution to avoid people doodling on photographs of him.    Carey Marx     (RD2014, Jan., p.49)
我只要看到有人留著大鬍子，配上八字鬍和一副黑框眼鏡，我就會想：這傢伙故意弄成這副德行，恐怕是預防別人在他的照片上胡亂塗鴉的萬全措施。

O Never trust a mathematician with a graph. They are plotting something.    (RD2014, Jan., p.49)
千萬要提防正在畫函數圖形的數學家；他們正在進行某種陰謀。(譯註：這裡的plot是個雙關語，一方面是指畫圖的動作，一方面是圖謀不軌的意思。)

O Our employer installed a suggestion box in hope of easing the tension she feared might follow workflow changes. The staff's ability to keep the atmosphere light, however, was exemplified by the first suggestion.
Stuffed partway through the box's small slot was this advice: "Make this hole bigger."     (RD2013, Classic Reads, p.83)
我們公司老闆設置了一個意見箱，希望藉此緩和緊張關係，以免造成人事的不穩定。這項營造輕鬆氣氛的作法有了正面的回應；第一個建議寫在一張紙上，塞在意見箱狹小的開口，一半露在外面，上面寫道：「把這個洞開大一點！」