Reader's Digest
● Make a Wish
I work at a photo/electronics business, and
very occasionally – usually around Christmas – customers will bring in their
old film projectors for attention. One day the intercom buzzed in my workshop
and a voice said, “Harry, will you come down to the shop? There’s a lad
in about a lamp.” (RD2013,
April, p.58)
許個願
我在一家光學/電器行工作;經常有顧客(尤其在聖誕節前後)帶著他們的舊式投影機上門要求修裡。有一天,我的工作室裡的對講機傳來一個聲音,說道:「哈利,你可不可以下來一下?有人要修裡阿拉丁神燈。[註]」
[註]:其實我聽錯了,不是甚麼阿拉丁(Aladdin)神燈,而是有個男孩來店(a lad in)要換投影機的燈泡。 (RD2013, 四月號, 第58頁)
● Naughty Men
Some workmen were fixing potholes on our
street recently, which prompted my three-year-old to come running into the
kitchen. “Mum! Can I go and watch the men digging a hole in the road?” he
asked.
A little worried about the traffic, I began
to form a “no” when he forestalled me by adding, “It’s OK, Mum – they’re not
naughty men!”
Swiftly changing tack, I asked, “How do we
know they’re not naughty men?”
His triumphant response: “Because I’ve
already been and asked them.” (RD2013,
April, p.58)
怪叔叔
最近我們附近有一些工人在修馬路,這使得我那三歲的兒子衝進廚房問道:「媽!我可以去看那些人在挖馬路嗎?」
我有點擔心交通安全問題,正要脫口說「不行」;他卻先發制人說:「媽!沒問題啦!那些人不是壞人啦!」
我立即見風轉舵問他:「你怎麼知道他們不是壞人?」
他很得意地回答:「因為我已經去問過他們了。」
(RD2013, 四月號, 第58頁)
● Peek Behind the Curtain
When you do Shakespeare, they think you
must be intelligent because they think you understand what you’re saying. — Actress
Helen Mirren
(RD2013, April, p.58)
幕前幕後
當你在演莎士比亞戲劇的時候,人們會以為你很有學問;因為他們以為你懂得你說的每一句話。 — 英國名女演員海倫.米蘭 (RD2013, 四月號, 第58頁)
● Short & Sweet
While taking my grandkids for a drive, one
asked, “Nana, are you going to grow any taller?” To which I replied, “No. As
you get older you actually grow shorter. You shrink a little.”
“Wow, Nana!” she shrieked. “When you become
a Barbie Doll, can I have you?”
(RD2013, April, p.68)
越矮越可愛
我開車載幾個孫子兜風時,其中一個問我說:「奶奶,妳還會長高嗎?」我說:「不會了啦!其實人老了會變矮。」
她聽了很興奮地叫道:「奶奶,妳變成芭比娃娃之後,可以不可以當我的玩具?」 (RD2013, 四月號, 第68頁)
● Cruelty 101
The topic for my third-grade class was
genetics. Smiling broadly, I pointed to my dimples and asked, “What trait do
you think I passed on to my children?” After a pause, one student called out, “Wrinkles?” (RD2013, Feb., p.80)
超不給面子
在我教的小學三年級班上,講到遺傳學的時候,我特別裝出一個大笑臉,然後指著臉上的酒窩問道:「你們認為我哪個特徵會遺傳給我的子女?」一陣靜默之後,有個學生大聲說:「是皺紋嗎?」 (2013年2月號,第80頁)